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03 Inspector Clouseau -
Comedy 1968 English
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[ FUSE SPUTTERING ]
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[ PINGING ]
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[ SHATTERING ]
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[ SHATTERING ]
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Police Commissioner Braithwaite,
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what information can you give us?
I've no comment.
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Sir Charles,
is the same gang that
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pulled off the Great
Train Robbery involved?
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I'm afraid that's confidential.
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Sir Charles, could you tell
us what came of your meeting
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with the Prime Minister
this morning?
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All I can say
at this time is that
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we are bringing in someone to take
command of the entire investigation.
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An outsider?
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Well, uh, yes.
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Isn't that rather a slap in
the face for Scotland Yard?
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In an emergency of
this magnitude,
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one must overlook
such minor considerations
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as to whose nose is out
of joint, mustn't one?
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Even if it is one's own nose?
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I don't think that calls for any comment.
Are you likely to...
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When do you expect this man
to arrive, Sir Charles?
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[ THUNDER CLAPPING ]
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[ INAUDIBLE ]
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[ BANGING ]
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[ WOMAN ON P.A. CHATTERING ]
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[ PLANE ENGINES ROARING ]
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[ JET ENGINE ROARING ]
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[ THUDDING ]
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WOMAN ON P.A.:
On flight number 3R-523...
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WEAVER: Inspector Clouseau? Shh!
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I'm Weaver,
your opposite number.
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Oh, that's Shockley.
He's Special Branch.
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Hello, sir. I'm delighted...
Keep your voice down.
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You know I'm here
on a secret mission.
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Uh, yes. Well, if you'd like to
come along, we have a car waiting.
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But I've not yet
cleared customs.
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Oh, that's all
been arranged, sir.
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Standard VIP treatment, you see.
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Ah, but I'm no vip,
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and therefore, I must
go through customs
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like any humble French tourist.
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Honestly, sir, I assure you...
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That is my cover, you fool.
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[ SLAPPING ]
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Have you anything to declare?
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No, no. I'm just you average,
typical French tourist
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on a humble English vacation.
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Good. Can I see your passport
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and your debarking ticket?
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Yes, of course.
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[ ANNOUNCER ON P.A. CHATTERING ]
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CLOUSEAU: I have it right here.
I never travel without...
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Come along now, sir.
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But you have not yet
seen my passport!
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I... I have this...
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Hey, look at this!
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Don't... Don't grab me
by the right arm like that!
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At the outset, Clouseau,
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I think it only fair to...
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I think it only fair to say that
your being brought in on this case
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was not my idea.
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You are too modest.
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The Prime Minister insisted.
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Personally, as head of the British
law-enforcing establishment,
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I can only regard
your presence here
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as a vote of no confidence.
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And I, on the other hand,
am extremely confident.
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Not overconfident, I trust.
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No, no, no.
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Not, uh, not overconfident.
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Good. I'm glad to hear that.
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We know that the 2.5
million pounds stolen...
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stolen in our
Great Train Robbery
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are being used
as operating capital
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for a far more ambitious crime.
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Bigger than 2.5 million?
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Well, we seem to be dealing
with very greedy people.
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Greedy and ruthless.
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You are the fourth to be placed
in charge of this operation
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in the past six months.
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Well, it seems that Scotland Yard
has had a run of unfortunate luck,
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but...
Despite our unfortunate luck,
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we have managed to apprehend
a dozen of the gang,
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including three
of their top men.
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I'll show you.
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[ CLOCK CHIMING ]
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You may well be acquainted
with some of them.
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[ SCREEN WHIRRING ]
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As you know, only yesterday
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two of these men
escaped from prison.
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One of them was Frenchy Lebec.
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CLOUSEAU: It's a familiar face.
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The other was Steve Frey.
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And the one still remaining
in custody is Addison Steele.
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Perhaps I should question that
pleasant-looking Mr. Steele.
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Don't be fooled by his looks.
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He can spot a detective
a mile away.
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[ SCREEN WHIRRING ]
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But then, you don't look much
like a detective, do you?
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I try not to.
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Good.
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I don't have to tell you
that in our line of work
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anonymity is a virtue.
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Any fool knows that.
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[ MUTTERING ] Anonymity
is next to cleanliness
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and I don't have to tell
you what that's next to.
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No, but I have to tell you that
we have recently discovered
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a security leak in
this very department.
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In this very department?
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That is why you are here.
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The thought was,
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since you couldn't be the
traitor, we can trust you.
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But you...
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But you must trust no one.
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The viper in our bosom
could be anyone.
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Anyone. I suspect everyone.
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Good. You will report
only to me.
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And what makes you think
I trust you?
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[ CAR APPROACHING ]
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[ HAIR DRYER BLOWING ]
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Be right with you.
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Don't rush.
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[ SWITCHES HAIR DRYER OFF ]
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Don't worry. I never do.
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[ SWITCHES HAIR DRYER ON AGAIN ]
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There.
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Now,
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like I said, if you just
comb it out every morning,
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you'll keep the line and still
have plenty of movement
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round the face, you see what I...
Hmm.
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I said I'll be right with you.
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And I said, "Don't rush."
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And I said, "Don't worry.
I never do."
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Oh, that's excellent, Steele.
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Excellent,
I like that very much.
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[ CHUCKLES ]
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You know, you missed
your vocation.
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STEELE: Oh, glad you like it.
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You do a marvellous job.
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You call that a prison haircut?
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Special privileges.
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You might say the, um, warden
and I are as thick as thieves.
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And this favouritism, how
long has it been going on?
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For 23 years.
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You must have murdered
your paediatrician.
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Oh, they would never
have caught me
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but for my fingerprints
on the water pistol.
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I shall let that pass
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since you cannot possibly know
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whose leg it is
that you are pushing.
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[ KNOCKING ]
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Do look after him, won't
you, Steele, old dear?
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I doubt if your razor's
sharp enough
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for the famous
Inspector Clouseau.
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Smart young criminal.
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He's the warden's son.
Quite a joker.
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[ MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY ]
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CLOUSEAU: The warden's son, eh?
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He should have known better
than to reveal my identity
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to a hardened criminal like you.
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We hardened criminals follow your
career with great interest, Inspector.
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Oh, ho, ho. As I yours.
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Sit down, I'll give you a shave.
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And now, since we are
becoming so chummy,
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perhaps you will tell me everything you
know about the Great Train Robbery, eh?
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I don't know nothing.
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He who don't know nothing
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knows something, eh?
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Perhaps even how to
mastermind a robbery, eh?
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Well, if you want to know about
the mastermind, don't talk to me.
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Talk to Johnny Rainbow.
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00:13:03,649 --> 00:13:05,985
And, uh, who is this
Johnny Rainbow?
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00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:13,225
Well, it's just
a code name really.
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None of us ever
met him face-to-face.
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[ STEAM HISSING ] Now, uh,
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this is going to be
a little bit hot.
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I don't mind.
In the words of Robespierre...
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[ SPEAKING FRENCH ]
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[ MUMBLING ] Just take a few deep breaths.
That's it.
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Breathe in very deeply.
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[ MUMBLING ] A bit more.
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That's right. There you go.
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♪ [ MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO ] ♪
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[ VOLUME INCREASING ]
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Well, I think you'll be pleased with
these items that you requested.
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Our chaps took some liberties
with your specifications
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that I think will delight you.
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00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:15,888
Ah, the smoke-signal matches
that you asked for.
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Oh, yes, wonderful thing
to have them.
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00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:21,794
Now, this you must
watch very carefully.
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00:14:21,827 --> 00:14:23,796
Looks like an ordinary
cigarette lighter
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00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:26,799
but it is, in fact, a high-intensity
laser-beam transmitter.
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Ingenious.
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00:14:30,102 --> 00:14:32,905
Oh, yes. Just what
the doctor ordered. There.
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00:14:34,139 --> 00:14:35,608
My, my.
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00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:37,476
And what kind of
a thing is this?
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00:14:40,479 --> 00:14:41,947
That's my razor.
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00:14:53,592 --> 00:14:55,094
Normal cigarette case.
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Here we have
a high-frequency transmitter
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00:14:58,497 --> 00:15:00,599
with built-in ADC.
203
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:03,469
On the other side, an enclosed
microphone and speaker.
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00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:04,670
Wonderful thing.
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00:15:04,703 --> 00:15:06,438
With a self-starting
tape recorder.
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00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:08,107
Say something. Uh?
207
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:09,408
Just say something.
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00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:10,843
What? Anything you like.
209
00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:13,412
No, I... No, no, I have a
phobia for recording devices.
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00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:14,823
No, no, please.
I just want to test...
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00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:16,682
I really don't like to use them.
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00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:18,960
Why? I mean, I'm only just trying to
show you the machine, that's all.
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00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:20,452
No, I get embarrassed, if...
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00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:22,797
No, don't be embarrassed. Just
say anything you like. Just...
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00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:24,189
♪ Paris in the springs ♪
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00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:26,292
♪ A wonder to behold ♪
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00:15:26,325 --> 00:15:30,095
♪ The streets are lined ♪
♪ with gold in Paris ♪
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00:15:30,129 --> 00:15:32,197
♪ My love jump in the Seine ♪
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00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:34,800
♪ And it drove me insane ♪
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00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:37,836
♪ If I may be so bold ♪
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It's a song.
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00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:42,975
Yes, thank you. Very good.
223
00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:46,478
I'll just wind it back.
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00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:48,480
[ TAPE RECORDER REWINDING ]
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00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:53,385
♪ CLOUSEAU ON TAPE: ♪
♪ Paris in the springs ♪
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♪ A wonder to behold ♪
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[ TAPE SQUEAKING ]
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♪ ...gold in Paris ♪
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♪ [ DISTORTED ] My love jump in the ♪
♪ Seine, And it drove me insane ♪
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00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:05,331
♪ If I may be so bold ♪
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00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:07,800
Yes, not too much bass at all.
232
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:11,670
It's just some little technical
fault, I'm sure you'll sort it out.
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00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:15,274
Uh... Oh, yes, yes.
There was something. Uh...
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00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:19,478
I want you to take
a good look at me.
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00:16:19,511 --> 00:16:22,748
Have you noticed anything
peculiar about me?
236
00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:25,551
No, but then you can't always
tell by looking, can you?
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00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:28,087
I was referring to my dress.
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00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:30,022
Your dress.
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00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:32,591
Now, look. Here, catch.
240
00:16:32,624 --> 00:16:35,227
Now, you are armed, correct?
You're correct.
241
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:37,396
Let us assume that
you want to arrest me.
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00:16:37,429 --> 00:16:40,265
Very well. You are under arrest.
243
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:43,435
Oh no, no, no, no.
See, play the...
244
00:16:43,469 --> 00:16:45,671
Look, let us assume
that I resist.
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00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:47,940
Well, then you would be
a very foolish fellow
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00:16:47,973 --> 00:16:49,875
because I'm a deadly shot
with a pistol.
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00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:52,411
Yes, but how long
would it take you
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00:16:52,444 --> 00:16:54,513
to reach your pistol? Too late!
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00:16:54,546 --> 00:16:56,715
[ BULLETS WHISTLING ]
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00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:58,417
You'd be a dead man, Clouseau.
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Remarkable!
252
00:16:59,818 --> 00:17:01,086
No hands. But...
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00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:04,590
Observe my belt. You see?
254
00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:07,226
Three .22s. Miniature missiles.
255
00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:10,896
Fires with deadly accuracy up
to a distance of 500 yards.
256
00:17:10,929 --> 00:17:13,565
What a wonderful,
wonderful, uh, thing.
257
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:15,067
Yes.
258
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:17,403
Not bad is it, eh?
259
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:19,905
Quite ingenious.
260
00:17:19,938 --> 00:17:23,442
It's, uh, all done
with the stomach muscles.
261
00:17:23,475 --> 00:17:25,553
Do you, uh... Do you think
you'll get the hang of it?
262
00:17:25,577 --> 00:17:29,214
Yes, oh, yes. I have a photographic
memory, you know. Allow me.
263
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:30,783
[ CLOUSEAU EXCLAIMING ]
264
00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:33,118
[ LIGHTER ZAPPING ]
265
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:34,353
[ DOUSING ]
266
00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:36,955
[ SCREAMS ]
267
00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:38,490
Look out for your pipe!
268
00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:44,530
[ AIR HISSING ]
269
00:17:48,967 --> 00:17:52,638
Oh! That's... That's some
wonderful, wonderful underwear.
270
00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:57,476
In the event that anyone should ever
want to throw you into the sea.
271
00:17:57,509 --> 00:17:59,778
Yes, but you know,
how do you, uh...
272
00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:01,780
How do you have it laundered?
273
00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:04,149
Well, I should recommend dry
cleaning, you stupid...
274
00:18:04,183 --> 00:18:05,517
[ LAUGHING ]
275
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:09,154
Well, with your equipment
and my finesse,
276
00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:11,332
we're going to give those crooks
a run for their money, eh?
277
00:18:11,356 --> 00:18:13,025
Our money! Our money.
278
00:18:13,058 --> 00:18:14,626
Yes, well, of course.
You're right.
279
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:17,162
Yes, I'm always right.
It is a problem with me.
280
00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:20,032
Yes, strange. I too...
281
00:18:20,065 --> 00:18:21,433
I too have that problem.
282
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:25,204
Yes, we have a lot in common.
Oh, yes.
283
00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:27,706
Our lives, in the game
of crime and punishment,
284
00:18:27,739 --> 00:18:31,376
are bound like lovers
inextricably together.
285
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:34,913
It's a poem.
286
00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:40,452
You ought to meet my wife.
287
00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:43,322
Your queen did not bring me
here to socialize.
288
00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:45,624
I didn't mean my queen,
I meant my wife.
289
00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:47,993
I didn't mean your queen,
I meant your wife.
290
00:18:49,328 --> 00:18:50,629
You don't know my wife.
291
00:18:50,662 --> 00:18:52,831
But I'd be delighted.
Shall we say 8:00?
292
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:57,069
Dinner? Charmed, I'm sure.
293
00:19:07,513 --> 00:19:10,816
There he is.
Let us run him down now.
294
00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:13,352
Don't be stupid, Frenchy.
295
00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:15,053
In front of Weaver's house?
296
00:19:24,863 --> 00:19:26,365
[ MUTTERING ]
297
00:19:26,398 --> 00:19:27,633
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
298
00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:37,075
Oh, good evening. You must be
the Inspector. Good evening.
299
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:38,677
Yes, I must. I am Lisa.
300
00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:41,079
Ah, well, then you must
call me Jacques.
301
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,382
And I hope you don't mind
your husband inviting me here
302
00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:45,617
on such short notice.
Oh, I'm not Mrs. Weaver.
303
00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:48,153
I'm Lisa Morell.
Haven't you been told?
304
00:19:48,820 --> 00:19:50,923
No, but, uh,
305
00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:52,891
then I like to
find out for myself.
306
00:19:53,825 --> 00:19:55,894
I must see you alone.
307
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:57,963
Yes, well, that's the only way.
308
00:19:57,996 --> 00:20:00,532
But this isn't the proper place.
309
00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:02,301
Right, well, then let's run away
310
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:03,802
till before they know
that I'm here.
311
00:20:03,835 --> 00:20:06,705
[ WHISPERING ] No, I can't leave now.
Trust me.
312
00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:09,241
Yes, I do. I trust you
to the ends of the earth.
313
00:20:10,475 --> 00:20:11,510
Ah.
314
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:16,582
[ CHUCKLES ]
315
00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:22,321
Come on. Thank you, thank you.
316
00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:25,123
Well, I see you've met Lisa.
317
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:27,960
Yes, I have, you sly dog, you.
318
00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:29,962
She's our au pair.
Can I have your coat?
319
00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:32,097
Yes, of course.
320
00:20:32,130 --> 00:20:34,766
What will you have to drink?
Small sherry, perhaps.
321
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:38,136
Lisa, would you get the Inspector
a glass of small sherry?
322
00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:40,005
If that's an example
of your maid,
323
00:20:40,038 --> 00:20:41,907
then your wife must
really be something.
324
00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:43,075
[ WHISTLES ]
325
00:20:43,108 --> 00:20:44,977
MRS. WEAVER: Ooh!
326
00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:48,614
Could this lovely creature
be your famous French friend?
327
00:20:48,647 --> 00:20:50,082
Oh, Weaver, how could you?
328
00:20:50,115 --> 00:20:52,084
Well, I haven't,
old boy, not in years.
329
00:20:52,117 --> 00:20:53,585
What are you
muttering about, Weaver?
330
00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:55,621
Just shop talk, my love.
Just shop talk.
331
00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:57,189
Inspector, may I
present my wife.
332
00:20:57,222 --> 00:20:59,424
Yes, what a delightful surprise.
333
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:00,993
My wife's a mite Scottish.
334
00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:03,028
Ah, yes, lovely people, uh...
335
00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:06,331
Robert Burns, cashmere sweaters,
the Loch Ness monster.
336
00:21:06,365 --> 00:21:08,934
What's for dinner, dearie?
Nothing.
337
00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:11,103
Are you out of your tiny mind?
338
00:21:11,136 --> 00:21:13,372
It's the opening of
the Highland Fair tonight
339
00:21:13,405 --> 00:21:16,141
and I am the President of the
Daughters of the Heath and Heather.
340
00:21:16,174 --> 00:21:18,110
But what about our guest?
I promised him dinner.
341
00:21:18,143 --> 00:21:19,711
No, no, don' t trouble yourself.
342
00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:21,222
I'm sure Miss Lisa
could fix me a bite.
343
00:21:21,246 --> 00:21:22,981
Oh, yes. I can do
a very good omelet.
344
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:25,617
Oh, no! They have gorgeous
goodies at the fair.
345
00:21:25,651 --> 00:21:29,254
Come along now. I will not hear
another word about it. Come along.
346
00:21:33,659 --> 00:21:35,961
♪ [ BAGPIPES PLAYING ] ♪
347
00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:37,829
[ PEOPLE CHATTERING ]
348
00:21:56,615 --> 00:21:58,216
[ PEOPLE CLAPPING ]
349
00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:02,054
♪ [ LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING ] ♪
350
00:22:07,959 --> 00:22:09,861
[ PEOPLE WHOOPING ]
351
00:22:32,417 --> 00:22:33,785
[ EXCLAIMING ]
352
00:22:33,819 --> 00:22:36,621
D-Down! Okay, okay,
down on the ground.
353
00:22:42,828 --> 00:22:44,563
[ CLOUSEAU GRUNTING ]
354
00:22:44,596 --> 00:22:46,765
MAN ON P.A.: May I have
your attention, please?
355
00:22:46,798 --> 00:22:49,701
It's time to announce
the grand door prize.
356
00:22:49,735 --> 00:22:51,136
The door prize.
357
00:22:51,169 --> 00:22:54,106
The winning ticket
is number 175.
358
00:22:54,139 --> 00:22:57,142
I repeat, 175.
359
00:22:57,175 --> 00:22:58,610
Who's the lucky winner?
360
00:22:58,643 --> 00:23:01,246
Where's my ticket? I have it!
361
00:23:01,279 --> 00:23:03,448
175. I have it!
362
00:23:03,482 --> 00:23:04,983
[ FIRING ] I won the prize!
363
00:23:07,486 --> 00:23:09,755
[ WOMEN SHRIEKING ]
364
00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:14,760
[ MRS. WEAVER EXCLAIMING ]
365
00:23:14,793 --> 00:23:18,130
MRS. WEAVER: Oh!
Oh, good gracious me.
366
00:23:18,163 --> 00:23:20,599
Shooting may be an everyday
occurrence to you,
367
00:23:20,632 --> 00:23:22,667
but it's left me quite unstrung.
368
00:23:22,701 --> 00:23:24,402
[ LAUGHING ] Don't, don't.
369
00:23:24,436 --> 00:23:26,505
Don't touch my pudding.
And I suggest
370
00:23:26,538 --> 00:23:28,106
that you go upstairs
and go to bed.
371
00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:29,775
No, I've got a better idea.
372
00:23:29,808 --> 00:23:31,943
I'll... I'll just get out
of my tweeds,
373
00:23:31,977 --> 00:23:35,447
put on something loose, and you
pour me out a wee half of whiskey.
374
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,349
But that girl is going to
tell your husband.
375
00:23:37,382 --> 00:23:39,351
Oh, if I know anything
about that wee soul,
376
00:23:39,384 --> 00:23:40,986
she'll be sound asleep
in her bed.
377
00:23:41,019 --> 00:23:42,854
And Weaver'll be
hours at the morgue,
378
00:23:42,888 --> 00:23:47,793
filling in forms, etc. Oh, well.
379
00:23:47,826 --> 00:23:51,096
I'll be down in two shakes
of a donkey's tail.
380
00:23:51,129 --> 00:23:52,330
Don't rush.
381
00:23:54,232 --> 00:23:55,333
Lisa?
382
00:23:56,201 --> 00:23:57,335
Lisa?
383
00:23:57,369 --> 00:23:59,371
[ WHISPERING ] Here I am.
384
00:23:59,404 --> 00:24:02,307
Look. Look what I won at the fiesta.
A plum pudding.
385
00:24:02,340 --> 00:24:04,176
I thought maybe you and I
could run away
386
00:24:04,209 --> 00:24:05,811
and... and we share it together.
387
00:24:05,844 --> 00:24:07,484
Something very important
has just come up.
388
00:24:07,512 --> 00:24:08,880
I have to leave. Wait, wait.
389
00:24:08,914 --> 00:24:11,283
I'm going to come with you.
No, you must stay here
390
00:24:11,316 --> 00:24:13,351
and distract Mrs. Weaver.
It's important.
391
00:24:13,385 --> 00:24:16,288
I can't... I can't stand Mrs. Weaver.
She drives me crazy.
392
00:24:16,321 --> 00:24:18,957
I've waited all evening to be
here with you. And so have I.
393
00:24:18,990 --> 00:24:20,625
MRS. WEAVER:
Don't be impatient, dear.
394
00:24:20,659 --> 00:24:22,460
It'll not be long now.
395
00:24:22,494 --> 00:24:23,695
[ GROANING ]
396
00:24:23,728 --> 00:24:25,964
That's her. I really must go.
397
00:24:25,997 --> 00:24:27,165
Take care. Yes.
398
00:24:27,199 --> 00:24:28,900
[ SOBBING ]
399
00:25:04,903 --> 00:25:06,605
Oh, you bad, wee boy.
400
00:25:06,638 --> 00:25:09,174
Where's that drink you
were going to pour for me?
401
00:25:09,207 --> 00:25:12,277
I looked all over for it. I can't
find any whiskey anywhere.
402
00:25:12,310 --> 00:25:14,913
[ LAUGHING ]
403
00:25:14,946 --> 00:25:17,449
Yeah, what an ingenious
place to keep liquor.
404
00:25:20,752 --> 00:25:22,354
Oh, dear.
405
00:25:22,387 --> 00:25:24,155
Here we are.
406
00:25:28,159 --> 00:25:29,561
There we are.
407
00:25:30,495 --> 00:25:31,830
That's it.
408
00:25:34,633 --> 00:25:35,633
To us.
409
00:25:41,673 --> 00:25:45,477
Well, it's time for me to take
my leave, dear lady. I...
410
00:25:45,510 --> 00:25:47,579
[ PIANO KEYS BANGING ]
411
00:25:47,612 --> 00:25:49,114
I must get my beauty rest.
412
00:25:49,147 --> 00:25:51,349
[ MRS. WEAVER EXCLAIMING ]
413
00:25:52,651 --> 00:25:54,286
Oh, the excitement.
414
00:25:54,319 --> 00:25:55,620
The time has come...
415
00:25:55,654 --> 00:25:57,455
[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]
Why, you're shy.
416
00:25:57,489 --> 00:26:00,558
Your husband.
You fool, you crazy idiot!
417
00:26:00,592 --> 00:26:02,327
Get away! Good, good!
418
00:26:04,095 --> 00:26:05,931
Are you Inspector Clouseau? Yes.
419
00:26:05,964 --> 00:26:08,133
Commissioner Braithwaite
sent me to fetch you.
420
00:26:08,166 --> 00:26:09,634
What took you so long?
421
00:26:09,668 --> 00:26:11,736
Well, dear lady, it's been
a wonderful evening.
422
00:26:11,770 --> 00:26:14,139
No. But don't rush.
My only regret is that
423
00:26:14,172 --> 00:26:16,474
I can't stay around anymore.
C'est la vie.
424
00:26:18,043 --> 00:26:20,045
That's a sick lady in there.
425
00:26:21,313 --> 00:26:22,447
He's coming.
426
00:26:37,329 --> 00:26:39,064
Inspector Clouseau, isn't it?
427
00:26:39,898 --> 00:26:41,700
Leave it. Let's get out.
428
00:26:43,068 --> 00:26:46,338
Clyde Hargreaves.
Blackpool Prison.
429
00:26:46,371 --> 00:26:47,973
Oh, yes, the son of the warden.
430
00:26:48,006 --> 00:26:49,808
The one with
the warped sense of humour.
431
00:26:49,841 --> 00:26:52,210
And you still need a haircut.
432
00:26:52,243 --> 00:26:55,981
I don't think you'll find many
laughs in there, Inspector.
433
00:26:56,014 --> 00:26:58,950
There is a time for laughing
and a time for not laughing.
434
00:26:58,984 --> 00:27:00,919
And this is not one of them.
435
00:27:01,987 --> 00:27:02,987
Yes.
436
00:27:05,156 --> 00:27:06,157
Yes.
437
00:27:07,859 --> 00:27:09,394
[ MAN SNORING ]
438
00:27:31,249 --> 00:27:33,151
What's that?
It's my plum pudding.
439
00:27:33,184 --> 00:27:35,420
I won it at a picnic.
440
00:27:35,453 --> 00:27:38,923
Yes, I heard about
your successful evening.
441
00:27:38,957 --> 00:27:42,027
Weaver telephoned me from the
mortuary and told me all about it.
442
00:27:42,060 --> 00:27:43,661
You know, well,
it was nothing, you know.
443
00:27:43,695 --> 00:27:45,597
I just had the winning
ticket, that's all.
444
00:27:45,630 --> 00:27:48,433
Mmm! I can't wait to take
a bite from this thing.
445
00:27:48,466 --> 00:27:49,934
Well, never mind.
How do they make...
446
00:27:49,968 --> 00:27:51,779
Never mind. How do they
make it such a round...
447
00:27:51,803 --> 00:27:54,339
How do they... Clouseau, don't
worry about the plum pudding now.
448
00:27:54,372 --> 00:27:57,042
From what I gather, you behaved
disgracefully this evening.
449
00:27:57,075 --> 00:27:59,711
Drinking on duty, flirting
with woman after woman,
450
00:28:00,712 --> 00:28:03,882
even reciting vulgar limericks.
451
00:28:03,915 --> 00:28:07,952
Yes, well, life is not all
shoot-shoot, bang-bang, you know.
452
00:28:07,986 --> 00:28:10,388
Nevertheless, you elected to
shoot a man tonight, didn't you?
453
00:28:10,422 --> 00:28:11,623
Yes, I did.
454
00:28:11,656 --> 00:28:13,758
Thereby revealing your identity.
455
00:28:13,792 --> 00:28:16,061
You're correct.
456
00:28:16,094 --> 00:28:17,796
Well, I'm afraid that
the way that you work
457
00:28:17,829 --> 00:28:19,869
are not the ways that we
work here at Scotland Yard.
458
00:28:19,898 --> 00:28:22,767
Well, of course not. Uh, that's why
you brought me from the Surete.
459
00:28:22,801 --> 00:28:24,602
If you could
solve your own mess,
460
00:28:24,636 --> 00:28:26,604
you wouldn't need me here,
would you?
461
00:28:26,638 --> 00:28:28,039
Allow me.
462
00:28:28,073 --> 00:28:29,884
[ SHRIEKS ] What the devil
do you think you're doing?
463
00:28:29,908 --> 00:28:31,543
Braithwaite! Put it out.
464
00:28:31,576 --> 00:28:33,311
Put it out, sir! Take it away!
465
00:28:34,979 --> 00:28:36,114
[ EXCLAIMING ]
466
00:28:36,147 --> 00:28:37,582
[ COUGHING ]
467
00:28:37,615 --> 00:28:39,651
Where there's a will,
there's a way.
468
00:28:39,684 --> 00:28:41,319
[ PEOPLE CHATTERING ]
469
00:28:43,922 --> 00:28:46,124
I've nursed this bottle
since Dunkirk.
470
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:51,129
Now listen, Clouseau,
I've had enough of this.
471
00:28:51,162 --> 00:28:53,431
You should never
have shot Frenchy Lebec.
472
00:28:54,799 --> 00:28:56,935
You could have brought him
in for questioning
473
00:28:56,968 --> 00:29:00,004
and then we might have gained
some valuable information.
474
00:29:00,038 --> 00:29:02,607
But, oh, no, not you.
475
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:04,318
You have to go and get
yourself involved in some
476
00:29:04,342 --> 00:29:06,177
idiotic Highland shenanigan.
477
00:29:06,211 --> 00:29:09,180
It's utterly disgusting!
Do you hear me?
478
00:29:09,214 --> 00:29:12,016
I don't talk to you
when you're like this.
479
00:29:12,050 --> 00:29:14,152
I'll come back
when we can discuss this
480
00:29:14,185 --> 00:29:17,322
in an atmosphere of mutual
respect and understanding.
481
00:29:18,656 --> 00:29:19,824
Good evening.
482
00:29:20,892 --> 00:29:22,794
[ WHISTLING ]
483
00:29:30,735 --> 00:29:33,004
CLOUSEAU: Will you take
some notes, please?
484
00:29:34,706 --> 00:29:38,810
A: What are the facts
at our disposal?
485
00:29:38,843 --> 00:29:42,313
B: Let's get down to
the facts at our disposal.
486
00:29:42,347 --> 00:29:45,650
C: We know that
there has been a robbery.
487
00:29:45,683 --> 00:29:47,819
D: We know also
that certain people
488
00:29:47,852 --> 00:29:50,288
are going to
commit this robbery.
489
00:29:50,321 --> 00:29:52,357
I think we can
safely assume that.
490
00:29:52,390 --> 00:29:55,660
We know that there are people
going to commit this robbery,
491
00:29:55,693 --> 00:29:58,630
we know also that they
must get out of the way
492
00:29:58,663 --> 00:30:00,899
the people who are
trying to prevent them
493
00:30:00,932 --> 00:30:02,534
from committing this robbery.
494
00:30:02,567 --> 00:30:04,669
And that would be you. Me?
495
00:30:04,702 --> 00:30:06,471
What do they want to get me for?
496
00:30:06,504 --> 00:30:08,582
Well, they have already made
one attempt on your life.
497
00:30:08,606 --> 00:30:09,707
So they have.
498
00:30:10,408 --> 00:30:12,443
Hmm, well.
499
00:30:14,379 --> 00:30:17,482
You see how much we have,
uh, learned already?
500
00:30:17,515 --> 00:30:20,161
Gosh, that's marvellous! Well, let's...
let's press on on those lines.
501
00:30:20,185 --> 00:30:22,253
Yes, let's press on that line.
502
00:30:22,287 --> 00:30:24,822
Since they've already made
an attempt at my life,
503
00:30:24,856 --> 00:30:26,925
and it has come to
no fruition whatsoever,
504
00:30:26,958 --> 00:30:28,560
Yes? ...They will try
505
00:30:28,593 --> 00:30:29,928
a more parabolic approach.
506
00:30:29,961 --> 00:30:32,430
They will attack me on the bias.
Am I correct in this?
507
00:30:32,463 --> 00:30:34,499
On the bias? On the bias,
508
00:30:34,532 --> 00:30:36,668
which means that
they will not attack me,
509
00:30:36,701 --> 00:30:39,513
but will attack something that I love
more than anything else in the world.
510
00:30:39,537 --> 00:30:41,105
And what...
511
00:30:41,139 --> 00:30:43,284
What do I love more than anything
else in the world? What does one...
512
00:30:43,308 --> 00:30:45,610
[ EXCLAIMING ] What?
513
00:30:45,643 --> 00:30:48,947
Food! I love food more than
anything in the world.
514
00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:52,083
So they will not attack me,
they will attack...
515
00:30:52,116 --> 00:30:55,086
Devils!
They are going to get me!
516
00:30:55,119 --> 00:30:57,655
My plum... My plum pudding!
517
00:30:58,723 --> 00:31:00,625
[ SIRENS WAILING ]
518
00:31:06,130 --> 00:31:07,865
[ POLICE RADIO CHATTERING ]
519
00:31:07,899 --> 00:31:09,901
MAN: Sergeant,
get this gun over here.
520
00:31:09,934 --> 00:31:12,303
[ MEN CHATTERING ]
521
00:31:13,938 --> 00:31:15,073
[ CLANGING ]
522
00:31:15,106 --> 00:31:18,676
Wait. Wait for me.
Wait. I... I have to...
523
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:24,649
[ POLICE RADIO CHATTERING ]
524
00:31:26,484 --> 00:31:27,919
What's all the excitement
about, eh?
525
00:31:27,952 --> 00:31:29,163
Here, let me
help you, Inspector.
526
00:31:29,187 --> 00:31:30,321
What are you doing?
527
00:31:30,355 --> 00:31:32,223
I'm saving your lives,
you fools!
528
00:31:32,257 --> 00:31:36,127
And you, get with your... with
your loved ones and family.
529
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:37,729
And... And all the rest of you,
530
00:31:37,762 --> 00:31:39,797
clear out of this
neck of the woods!
531
00:31:43,868 --> 00:31:45,169
[ CHATTERING ]
532
00:31:47,438 --> 00:31:51,843
And don't... don't break anything
unless it's absolutely...
533
00:31:51,876 --> 00:31:53,778
Get back! I told...
534
00:31:53,811 --> 00:31:56,481
I don't know how many times.
535
00:31:56,514 --> 00:31:59,784
And, I'm sorry, I say,
I... I don't want you in...
536
00:31:59,817 --> 00:32:01,085
[ GLASS SHATTERING ]
537
00:32:01,119 --> 00:32:04,455
in this vicinity.
And I... That's what I'm...
538
00:32:04,489 --> 00:32:07,725
Aha! I have found the bomb!
539
00:32:14,732 --> 00:32:16,167
It is still ticking.
540
00:32:23,174 --> 00:32:24,742
I have drowned the bomb.
541
00:32:36,921 --> 00:32:39,123
It is no longer ticking.
542
00:32:39,157 --> 00:32:41,125
There's no bomb in there.
There must be.
543
00:32:41,159 --> 00:32:43,995
When... When I held it up to my
ears, I distinctly heard ticking.
544
00:32:44,028 --> 00:32:45,673
Well, I-it could
have been your wristwatch.
545
00:32:45,697 --> 00:32:46,697
Ah!
546
00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:50,968
It must not be waterproof.
547
00:32:51,002 --> 00:32:53,037
BRAITHWAITE: It's just
not going to work, you know.
548
00:32:53,071 --> 00:32:55,482
No, not any more, it's not. It's
good of you to concern yourself
549
00:32:55,506 --> 00:32:56,817
but I can always
buy another watch.
550
00:32:56,841 --> 00:32:58,209
I wasn't talking about that.
551
00:32:58,242 --> 00:33:00,345
That is, if we...
If we last that long.
552
00:33:16,694 --> 00:33:18,129
Come on, give it up. Shh!
553
00:33:25,737 --> 00:33:28,272
Aha. Aha!
554
00:33:28,306 --> 00:33:30,908
A deadly transistorized
mini-bomb!
555
00:33:30,942 --> 00:33:32,453
Looks like one of those
cyanide capsules.
556
00:33:32,477 --> 00:33:34,278
Yes, yes. A cyanide capsule.
557
00:33:34,312 --> 00:33:36,557
Well, somebody certainly seems
determined to see you dead.
558
00:33:36,581 --> 00:33:38,449
Yes, but who?
559
00:33:38,483 --> 00:33:42,120
Well, I mean, it could be anyone at
that blasted Scottish hoopdeedoo.
560
00:33:42,153 --> 00:33:44,722
Yes, but I didn't let this out
of my sight till I got here
561
00:33:44,756 --> 00:33:45,823
to your club.
562
00:33:47,125 --> 00:33:49,060
Weren't there any clues
on Frenchy Lebec
563
00:33:49,093 --> 00:33:50,728
that we might be able to use?
564
00:33:50,762 --> 00:33:52,797
These matches which I found
in his coat pocket.
565
00:33:52,830 --> 00:33:54,298
Let me see those.
566
00:33:54,332 --> 00:33:56,367
Bring that man in
for questioning.
567
00:33:56,401 --> 00:33:57,902
You shot him last night.
568
00:33:57,935 --> 00:34:00,238
Oh, yes. The Tudor Arms?
569
00:34:00,271 --> 00:34:02,483
Inspector, perhaps we ought
to have a look at this place.
570
00:34:02,507 --> 00:34:04,275
No sooner said than done.
571
00:34:18,156 --> 00:34:19,657
Hello, can I help you?
572
00:34:20,591 --> 00:34:22,160
Thank you for stopping.
573
00:34:22,193 --> 00:34:24,429
Well, what seems
to be the trouble?
574
00:34:24,462 --> 00:34:26,564
It's my new car.
I don't know what to do.
575
00:34:26,597 --> 00:34:28,433
Do you know something
about machinery?
576
00:34:28,466 --> 00:34:30,635
I don't know something
about machinery.
577
00:34:30,668 --> 00:34:32,470
I know everything
about machinery.
578
00:34:32,503 --> 00:34:34,739
Well, what do
you suppose this does?
579
00:34:34,772 --> 00:34:36,340
Oh, yes. Well, you see,
580
00:34:36,374 --> 00:34:38,509
when this is connected
in the right place,
581
00:34:38,543 --> 00:34:40,678
it makes your auto-mobile move.
582
00:34:40,711 --> 00:34:43,448
Now, it either goes one of two places.
Over here,
583
00:34:43,481 --> 00:34:44,649
or over here.
584
00:34:44,682 --> 00:34:45,783
[ GASPS ]
585
00:34:45,817 --> 00:34:46,984
Well,
586
00:34:48,019 --> 00:34:49,654
that takes care of that.
587
00:34:49,687 --> 00:34:52,323
Did you fix it?
No, it's completely ruined.
588
00:34:52,356 --> 00:34:54,125
Can I take you somewhere?
589
00:34:54,158 --> 00:34:55,960
I suppose I ought
to make a phone call.
590
00:34:55,993 --> 00:34:59,597
Now, the nearest place
would be The Tudor Arms.
591
00:34:59,630 --> 00:35:01,666
Kismet. That's exactly
where I'm going,
592
00:35:01,699 --> 00:35:02,700
Good.
593
00:35:06,504 --> 00:35:09,307
And what brings my favourite niece
out in the dead of the night?
594
00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:12,310
What do you think happened, Uncle?
My new car broke down.
595
00:35:12,343 --> 00:35:14,879
Oh, what a pity.
596
00:35:14,912 --> 00:35:17,682
Don't just stand there grinning.
Get us some food.
597
00:35:17,715 --> 00:35:19,617
What would you like?
598
00:35:19,650 --> 00:35:21,619
Oh, uh, just a light snack
for two.
599
00:35:21,652 --> 00:35:25,523
Some smoked salmon, perhaps,
a little assorted pate,
600
00:35:25,556 --> 00:35:27,458
a little roast beef, I think.
601
00:35:27,492 --> 00:35:30,895
Then, a few vegetables,
uh, petit pois, carrots.
602
00:35:30,928 --> 00:35:32,830
Then some glace,
603
00:35:32,864 --> 00:35:36,200
a little chocolate cake perhaps, and...
I'll leave it all up to you.
604
00:35:36,234 --> 00:35:38,169
Will you have it
here or upstairs?
605
00:35:38,202 --> 00:35:40,037
Upstairs sounds cosier,
doesn't it?
606
00:35:40,071 --> 00:35:41,205
Good.
607
00:36:00,725 --> 00:36:02,293
Charming room, isn't it?
608
00:36:03,361 --> 00:36:05,263
You have been here
many times before.
609
00:36:05,296 --> 00:36:07,265
What gives you that idea?
610
00:36:07,298 --> 00:36:09,567
The innkeeper,
you greeted him as Uncle.
611
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:11,269
Yes, he's married to my aunt.
612
00:36:15,473 --> 00:36:17,241
It's all very suspicious.
613
00:36:20,878 --> 00:36:22,547
I think perhaps I should
614
00:36:22,580 --> 00:36:24,448
go downstairs
and have another look.
615
00:36:24,482 --> 00:36:26,083
Oh, don't let me stop you.
616
00:36:37,261 --> 00:36:40,131
Are you trying to keep a
policeman from his duty?
617
00:36:40,164 --> 00:36:41,832
Don't you want to kiss me?
618
00:36:43,568 --> 00:36:46,370
Whether or not I wish to kiss
you is beside the point.
619
00:36:46,404 --> 00:36:48,272
The thing is, I'm here
on a secret mission
620
00:36:48,306 --> 00:36:49,807
that very few people know about
621
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:52,543
and I am not going to be
dissuaded from my duty.
622
00:36:52,577 --> 00:36:53,711
[ CLOUSEAU MOANING ]
623
00:36:53,744 --> 00:36:55,947
Oh. Let me have a breather.
624
00:36:56,914 --> 00:36:58,482
All right.
625
00:36:58,516 --> 00:37:00,685
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
626
00:37:04,989 --> 00:37:06,257
[ SIGHING LOUDLY ]
627
00:37:08,326 --> 00:37:10,294
What do you think you're doing?
628
00:37:10,328 --> 00:37:11,896
I never want to
forget this evening.
629
00:37:11,929 --> 00:37:13,998
No, put that camera down.
630
00:37:14,031 --> 00:37:16,133
We'll have none
of that, my dear.
631
00:37:16,167 --> 00:37:19,637
You don't take a picture of me
in this dishevelled condition.
632
00:37:19,670 --> 00:37:21,606
There, now you can
take a picture.
633
00:37:21,639 --> 00:37:23,341
Oh, look at that big beauty.
634
00:37:23,374 --> 00:37:24,785
Yeah. I love to have
my picture taken.
635
00:37:24,809 --> 00:37:26,486
Right. I would be the
first one to admit that.
636
00:37:26,510 --> 00:37:28,088
Hold it. You want the
same thing like that?
637
00:37:28,112 --> 00:37:30,114
That's it. Lovely.
Profile. About face.
638
00:37:30,147 --> 00:37:32,049
Yes. And now, a bit serious.
639
00:37:32,717 --> 00:37:34,185
You want a half-smile.
640
00:37:34,218 --> 00:37:36,287
A half-smile
from the other side.
641
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:37,588
Mmm-hmm.
642
00:37:37,622 --> 00:37:40,658
Now, all-the-teeth-smile.
I'll give you one of that.
643
00:37:40,691 --> 00:37:43,594
And now, I'll give you
an action photograph.
644
00:37:43,628 --> 00:37:44,795
Mmm-hmm.
645
00:37:44,829 --> 00:37:47,331
And of one caught in
the act of surprise.
646
00:37:47,365 --> 00:37:48,799
Next pose. No, you missed that.
647
00:37:48,833 --> 00:37:50,501
Take it once more. I've got it.
648
00:37:50,534 --> 00:37:52,169
That's the kind I like. Next.
649
00:37:52,703 --> 00:37:54,105
Lovely.
650
00:37:54,138 --> 00:37:55,973
[ CAMERA CLICKING ]
651
00:37:58,643 --> 00:37:59,977
That ought to do it. Yes.
652
00:38:00,011 --> 00:38:01,488
Lovely. Very good. Now
listen, incidentally,
653
00:38:01,512 --> 00:38:04,649
if you're making those up, I wouldn't
mind having a few of each myself.
654
00:38:04,682 --> 00:38:05,993
I'd like to see
the proofs first and then
655
00:38:06,017 --> 00:38:07,985
I'm... I'm sure I will
order some from you.
656
00:38:08,019 --> 00:38:09,353
I've got an idea. Yes?
657
00:38:09,387 --> 00:38:11,989
So far I've only got face
shots of you. Right.
658
00:38:12,023 --> 00:38:13,624
How about full figure?
Fine, all right.
659
00:38:13,658 --> 00:38:15,192
I'll be more than happy...
660
00:38:15,226 --> 00:38:17,461
♪ Oh, it grabs you ♪
♪ by the heart ♪
661
00:38:17,495 --> 00:38:20,731
♪ You never fall apart ♪
♪ in Paris ♪
662
00:38:20,765 --> 00:38:22,500
♪ We argued for an hour ♪
663
00:38:22,533 --> 00:38:24,502
♪ She jumped off ♪
♪ the Eiffel Tower ♪
664
00:38:24,535 --> 00:38:26,837
♪ That wasn't very smart ♪
665
00:38:26,871 --> 00:38:28,739
♪ Paris in the spring ♪
666
00:38:28,773 --> 00:38:30,675
♪ The world is my... ♪
667
00:38:31,342 --> 00:38:32,343
[ EXCLAIMS ]
668
00:38:33,010 --> 00:38:34,879
[ MUMBLING ]
669
00:38:50,294 --> 00:38:51,295
Hi.
670
00:38:55,099 --> 00:38:58,436
Uh, I don't mean to intrude
671
00:38:58,469 --> 00:39:00,438
but have you seen
anything of a girl?
672
00:39:01,038 --> 00:39:03,107
Uh, not...
673
00:39:03,140 --> 00:39:06,077
Not of course to imply that
that's not what you are.
674
00:39:06,110 --> 00:39:07,878
I didn't mean to imply
675
00:39:07,912 --> 00:39:12,783
that, uh... Indeed, not only
are you a girl but, uh,
676
00:39:12,817 --> 00:39:15,553
yes, indeed, a very
extraordinary one at that.
677
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:17,488
Yes, uh...
678
00:39:18,589 --> 00:39:21,092
I don't suppose that
679
00:39:21,125 --> 00:39:24,628
you've seen anything of a tall
brunette in a short slip, have you?
680
00:39:25,096 --> 00:39:26,130
No.
681
00:39:26,497 --> 00:39:27,498
Ah.
682
00:39:34,805 --> 00:39:35,973
Yes, well.
683
00:39:37,274 --> 00:39:38,409
C'est la vie.
684
00:39:52,690 --> 00:39:53,791
Beautiful.
685
00:39:53,824 --> 00:39:55,159
You did a good job.
686
00:39:55,993 --> 00:39:57,261
[ CRUNCHING ]
687
00:39:57,294 --> 00:39:59,430
Oh, I love the way you eat.
688
00:40:00,765 --> 00:40:02,166
Like a jungle animal.
689
00:40:02,199 --> 00:40:03,234
[ CHUCKLES ]
690
00:40:03,267 --> 00:40:04,267
[ WHOOPING ]
691
00:40:05,302 --> 00:40:08,472
Oyster dressing
makes me passionate.
692
00:40:08,506 --> 00:40:09,573
Mmm?
693
00:40:09,607 --> 00:40:11,275
When I eat it?
694
00:40:11,308 --> 00:40:13,844
Especially when you eat it.
695
00:40:13,878 --> 00:40:17,815
If I didn't have this heartburn,
would you see something.
696
00:40:17,848 --> 00:40:20,417
I've got something for
your heartburn. Yes?
697
00:40:20,451 --> 00:40:21,685
Yes, a little something.
698
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:25,523
If you just lie there,
we will, uh, soon help you.
699
00:40:25,556 --> 00:40:27,291
How's that? Ah, that's nice.
700
00:40:27,324 --> 00:40:29,493
Is that better? Ah, very good.
701
00:40:29,527 --> 00:40:31,028
Mmm? Better?
702
00:40:31,061 --> 00:40:33,597
Flying over Ecuador with you.
That's better, is it?
703
00:40:33,631 --> 00:40:35,132
On the back of a giant moth...
704
00:40:35,166 --> 00:40:36,801
You're having a good trip,
are you?
705
00:40:36,834 --> 00:40:38,369
Yes, it reminds me of
706
00:40:39,470 --> 00:40:41,806
in the barbershop.
Ah, that's better.
707
00:40:41,839 --> 00:40:43,559
They're doing it again.
You'll soon be well.
708
00:40:44,208 --> 00:40:45,276
[ CLOUSEAU MUMBLING ]
709
00:40:45,309 --> 00:40:46,544
How do you feel now?
710
00:40:46,577 --> 00:40:47,577
CLOUSEAU: Help.
711
00:40:51,248 --> 00:40:52,516
Take that.
712
00:40:58,722 --> 00:40:59,757
Towel.
713
00:41:02,326 --> 00:41:03,561
All right. Okay?
714
00:41:07,832 --> 00:41:10,234
Now come on,
pat it well into the face.
715
00:41:13,237 --> 00:41:14,572
INNKEEPER: Don't miss anything.
716
00:41:14,605 --> 00:41:16,473
This stuff hardens very quickly.
717
00:41:16,507 --> 00:41:17,741
[ TAPPING ]
718
00:41:25,416 --> 00:41:26,584
That should do it.
719
00:41:26,617 --> 00:41:28,118
Now, easy.
720
00:41:30,855 --> 00:41:32,089
[ MOANING ]
721
00:41:33,424 --> 00:41:35,259
It's loose.
722
00:41:35,292 --> 00:41:37,761
[ MUMBLING ] It's loose.
The bull is loose,
723
00:41:37,795 --> 00:41:38,762
[ GRUNTING ]
724
00:41:38,796 --> 00:41:40,764
I don't need a picador,
725
00:41:40,798 --> 00:41:42,733
I'll do it by myself.
726
00:41:42,766 --> 00:41:45,936
I'm going to kill the bull
by myself.
727
00:41:45,970 --> 00:41:48,572
Give me... Give me my sword
728
00:41:48,606 --> 00:41:51,108
and I will become the...
729
00:41:51,141 --> 00:41:54,211
Here it comes.
It's free. It's loose.
730
00:41:54,245 --> 00:41:56,247
[ GIRLS CHEERING ]
731
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:57,748
You're magnificent.
732
00:41:57,781 --> 00:41:59,884
Ole! Come on.
733
00:41:59,917 --> 00:42:01,118
[ ALL CHATTERING ]
734
00:42:06,156 --> 00:42:07,156
[ BED CRASHING ]
735
00:42:11,896 --> 00:42:13,797
I can't believe it.
It's true, sir.
736
00:42:13,831 --> 00:42:15,799
He claims it was all part
of his master plan.
737
00:42:15,833 --> 00:42:18,269
Well, I'm sick
of his master plan.
738
00:42:18,302 --> 00:42:20,938
And I suppose the collapsing
bed was part of our equipment.
739
00:42:20,971 --> 00:42:23,240
Oh, oh, no, sir. He... He said
he brought that with him.
740
00:42:23,274 --> 00:42:25,709
I don't want to hear
any more about this idiot.
741
00:42:25,743 --> 00:42:28,445
I... I don't claim to hold with
the man's methods either, sir,
742
00:42:28,479 --> 00:42:31,248
but you... you... you must
admit he does get results.
743
00:42:31,282 --> 00:42:34,618
I prefer the sort of results that
culminate in suspects standing trial.
744
00:42:34,652 --> 00:42:37,054
I think I may have the
answer to your problem, sir.
745
00:42:37,087 --> 00:42:38,622
What, drop him from the case?
746
00:42:38,656 --> 00:42:40,901
You know perfectly well we can't afford
to offend the French government.
747
00:42:40,925 --> 00:42:43,794
No, I didn't mean that, sir.
Well, what did you mean?
748
00:42:43,827 --> 00:42:46,664
Well, I think we ought
to have a man on the spot
749
00:42:46,697 --> 00:42:48,499
speaking the language.
750
00:42:48,532 --> 00:42:50,834
What language? French, sir.
751
00:42:50,868 --> 00:42:52,169
Mmm? In France.
752
00:42:52,836 --> 00:42:54,638
True, sir.
753
00:42:54,672 --> 00:42:58,242
The remains of Frenchy Lebec are being sent
back to France. To Le Havre for burial.
754
00:42:58,275 --> 00:42:59,944
BRAITHWAITE: Remains of who?
755
00:42:59,977 --> 00:43:01,312
WEAVER: Frenchy Lebec,
756
00:43:01,345 --> 00:43:03,480
the man Clouseau shot
at the Highland Fling.
757
00:43:03,514 --> 00:43:04,848
Oh.
758
00:43:04,882 --> 00:43:07,851
Lebec's gang's bound
to be at the funeral
759
00:43:07,885 --> 00:43:10,988
and if Clouseau happened
to be there as well,
760
00:43:11,021 --> 00:43:13,891
there's no knowing what information
he might turn up with.
761
00:43:15,826 --> 00:43:17,828
[ PEOPLE SPEAKING FRENCH ]
762
00:43:25,235 --> 00:43:26,337
Follow that hearse.
763
00:43:26,370 --> 00:43:27,705
Follow it yourself.
764
00:43:30,507 --> 00:43:31,675
Get out!
765
00:43:31,709 --> 00:43:33,310
[ CLOUSEAU MUMBLING ]
766
00:43:38,015 --> 00:43:40,117
How much... How much for
your... for your motorbike?
767
00:43:40,150 --> 00:43:41,218
What? I'll buy it.
768
00:43:41,251 --> 00:43:42,486
The bike. I'll buy it.
769
00:43:42,519 --> 00:43:44,388
Oh, oui. I'll give
you this much.
770
00:43:44,421 --> 00:43:46,290
Give it a good kick, huh?
Yes, yes.
771
00:43:46,323 --> 00:43:48,659
That's what I'm...
I'm going to...
772
00:43:49,860 --> 00:43:51,328
[ ENGINE SPUTTERING ]
773
00:43:57,267 --> 00:43:58,569
[ HORN HONKING ]
774
00:43:58,602 --> 00:43:59,837
[ MAN EXCLAIMING IN FRENCH ]
775
00:43:59,870 --> 00:44:01,038
[ DOG BARKING ]
776
00:44:02,206 --> 00:44:03,841
[ YELLING ]
777
00:44:06,443 --> 00:44:07,911
Stop, thief!
778
00:44:07,945 --> 00:44:10,247
Did you see that?
He stole my motorcycle.
779
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,549
Oh, nowadays,
you can't trust anybody.
780
00:44:12,583 --> 00:44:13,651
Gendarmes!
781
00:44:13,684 --> 00:44:14,684
[ YELLING IN FRENCH ]
782
00:44:20,791 --> 00:44:22,026
[ BLOWING WHISTLE ]
783
00:44:24,795 --> 00:44:26,930
♪ [ GIRLS SINGING IN FRENCH ] ♪
784
00:44:39,943 --> 00:44:41,779
Special report
to Commissioner Braithwaite
785
00:44:41,812 --> 00:44:43,447
from Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
786
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:46,683
Good morning. I am sitting in
a cart full of fresh fish.
787
00:44:46,717 --> 00:44:48,552
I'm going to follow the hearse.
788
00:44:48,585 --> 00:44:49,887
I'm leaving...
789
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:51,455
[ BLOWING WHISTLE ]
790
00:44:51,488 --> 00:44:52,956
[ ARGUING IN FRENCH ]
791
00:44:52,990 --> 00:44:54,425
To find the body...
792
00:44:55,492 --> 00:44:56,894
To find the final resting place.
793
00:44:56,927 --> 00:44:57,928
I'm going.
794
00:45:03,634 --> 00:45:05,169
♪ [ BAND PLAYING ] ♪
795
00:45:10,274 --> 00:45:11,942
[ SIREN WAILING ]
796
00:45:18,315 --> 00:45:19,917
[ YELLING IN FRENCH ]
797
00:45:22,186 --> 00:45:23,654
I can't think...
798
00:45:28,492 --> 00:45:29,626
[ HORN HONKING ]
799
00:45:32,930 --> 00:45:33,997
Eh! Idiot!
800
00:45:36,366 --> 00:45:37,668
[ HENS CLUCKING ]
801
00:45:37,701 --> 00:45:39,036
[ YELLING IN FRENCH ]
802
00:45:44,308 --> 00:45:45,976
[ BELLS TOLLING ]
803
00:45:52,616 --> 00:45:53,951
[ PRIEST CHATTERING IN FRENCH ]
804
00:45:56,353 --> 00:45:58,322
Here I am in the graveyard
805
00:45:58,355 --> 00:46:00,591
hiding behind a small shrub.
806
00:46:00,624 --> 00:46:03,293
I am now moving into
an advance position
807
00:46:03,327 --> 00:46:05,629
where I can
continue my reconnaissance.
808
00:46:05,662 --> 00:46:08,599
This is Jacques Clouseau
signing off.
809
00:46:08,632 --> 00:46:11,168
[ PRIEST SPEAKING FRENCH ]
810
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:44,334
[ THUDDING ]
811
00:46:44,368 --> 00:46:45,502
[ TAPE RECORDER REWINDING ]
812
00:46:47,571 --> 00:46:49,273
♪ [ CHILDREN SINGING IN FRENCH ] ♪
813
00:47:03,187 --> 00:47:04,521
Oh!
814
00:47:04,555 --> 00:47:06,523
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
815
00:47:06,557 --> 00:47:08,625
Get up. Get up. Get off.
816
00:47:16,567 --> 00:47:17,768
My hat.
817
00:47:17,801 --> 00:47:18,801
[ GRUNTS ] There.
818
00:47:19,203 --> 00:47:20,203
Oh, no.
819
00:47:20,771 --> 00:47:22,172
[ BOY MUTTERING ]
820
00:47:22,206 --> 00:47:24,575
Stand there. Put your hands.
821
00:47:24,608 --> 00:47:25,809
Yeah, like that.
822
00:47:27,578 --> 00:47:28,578
[ GROANS ]
823
00:47:29,546 --> 00:47:31,315
[ PRIEST CONTINUES TALKING ]
824
00:47:36,720 --> 00:47:38,222
[ TAPE RECORDER REWINDING ]
825
00:47:38,255 --> 00:47:39,823
♪ [ MARCHING BAND ♪
♪ PLAYING ON RECORDER ] ♪
826
00:47:43,327 --> 00:47:44,995
[ TAPE RECORDER REWINDING ]
827
00:47:48,232 --> 00:47:49,800
[ SIREN BLARING ]
828
00:47:54,638 --> 00:47:56,173
[ ALL CLAMORING ]
829
00:47:57,274 --> 00:47:58,742
[ RECORDER CHATTERING ]
830
00:48:03,247 --> 00:48:04,615
[ GUN FIRING ON TAPE RECORDER ]
831
00:48:04,648 --> 00:48:06,288
[ MOTORCYCLE ACCELERATING
ON TAPE RECORDER ]
832
00:48:09,987 --> 00:48:11,255
[ TAPE RECORDER REWINDING ]
833
00:48:17,261 --> 00:48:18,395
There he is!
834
00:48:18,428 --> 00:48:20,130
That's the man
who stole my motorbike.
835
00:48:20,163 --> 00:48:22,132
Come back! Come back here!
836
00:48:22,165 --> 00:48:23,834
Hey, you! Come back!
837
00:48:23,867 --> 00:48:25,102
Come back!
838
00:48:28,372 --> 00:48:29,606
Hey!
839
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:31,942
LISA: Get into the car,
Jacques. Quick!
840
00:48:31,975 --> 00:48:33,477
Hold on. Can you make it?
841
00:48:33,510 --> 00:48:34,945
Get into the front seat.
842
00:48:34,978 --> 00:48:37,114
Yes, I'm... I'm trying to.
843
00:48:37,147 --> 00:48:39,283
♪ [ MARCHING BAND PLAYING ♪
♪ ON TAPE RECORDER ] ♪
844
00:48:39,316 --> 00:48:40,884
[ YELLING ]
845
00:48:55,165 --> 00:48:56,533
[ BELLS TOLLING ]
846
00:49:00,804 --> 00:49:01,939
Some policewoman.
847
00:49:01,972 --> 00:49:03,340
[ CHUCKLES ]
848
00:49:03,373 --> 00:49:05,842
Listen, if you don't believe
that I'm a member of Interpol,
849
00:49:05,876 --> 00:49:06,977
go in there and ask them.
850
00:49:07,010 --> 00:49:09,646
You, a member of
the international police?
851
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:11,281
Don't make me laugh.
852
00:49:11,315 --> 00:49:13,684
I... I arrest you
in the name of the Queen.
853
00:49:15,319 --> 00:49:18,288
This crook is
Lieutenant Morell of Interpol.
854
00:49:18,322 --> 00:49:19,890
Who the devil are you?
855
00:49:19,923 --> 00:49:22,959
I am Inspector Jacques Clouseau
856
00:49:22,993 --> 00:49:26,496
on detached service to Scotland
Yard from the Paris Surete.
857
00:49:26,530 --> 00:49:30,334
And who are you to tell me
that this crook is no crook?
858
00:49:31,501 --> 00:49:33,470
Don't raise your voice.
859
00:49:33,503 --> 00:49:35,472
I am Prefect of Police Geffrion
860
00:49:35,505 --> 00:49:36,973
and your superior.
861
00:49:37,007 --> 00:49:38,007
Mmm...
862
00:49:39,743 --> 00:49:41,311
Hmm.
863
00:49:41,345 --> 00:49:45,015
Well, it seems, uh, that
I owe you an apology
864
00:49:45,048 --> 00:49:47,751
and, uh, and you too,
Lieutenant.
865
00:49:47,784 --> 00:49:49,319
Oh, it's quite all right.
866
00:49:49,353 --> 00:49:51,597
And so, now that Scotland Yard and
Interpol have made their peace,
867
00:49:51,621 --> 00:49:52,990
perhaps a hard-working prefect
868
00:49:53,023 --> 00:49:54,858
can eat his meal in peace, huh?
869
00:50:01,365 --> 00:50:03,266
Right. You've got everything?
870
00:50:03,300 --> 00:50:04,601
Yes. Mmm-hmm.
871
00:50:04,634 --> 00:50:06,670
Now, let's go over it again.
872
00:50:06,703 --> 00:50:08,238
All right.
873
00:50:08,271 --> 00:50:09,906
This is the headset.
874
00:50:09,940 --> 00:50:11,742
Yes. You put it on and
you listen through it.
875
00:50:11,775 --> 00:50:13,343
Yes, put it on.
876
00:50:13,377 --> 00:50:16,947
This is the bow,
with the microphone lead.
877
00:50:16,980 --> 00:50:18,015
Yes. See? There.
878
00:50:18,048 --> 00:50:19,549
Oh, yes.
879
00:50:19,583 --> 00:50:21,618
This is the arrow with
the microphone. Right.
880
00:50:21,651 --> 00:50:23,687
Now you have
to plug that in there
881
00:50:23,720 --> 00:50:27,524
and you should try and get the arrow
through that window up there.
882
00:50:27,557 --> 00:50:29,326
That's where they all are.
883
00:50:33,630 --> 00:50:35,332
[ CHATTERING ]
884
00:50:56,987 --> 00:50:58,955
[ CHATTERING ]
885
00:51:15,272 --> 00:51:17,941
with a queen. Pair of aces.
886
00:51:17,974 --> 00:51:21,478
Tonight, we're gonna knock
over the Dodge City Bank.
887
00:51:21,511 --> 00:51:24,414
RINGO: Dodge City Bank?
You must be kidding!
888
00:51:24,448 --> 00:51:25,482
I got a plan.
889
00:51:26,683 --> 00:51:29,820
In 15 minutes, Lefty and Big Red
890
00:51:29,853 --> 00:51:32,656
walk into the hotel and start
shooting up the place.
891
00:51:32,689 --> 00:51:33,757
10. Pair of 10s.
892
00:51:33,790 --> 00:51:36,293
[ CHATTERING ]
893
00:51:36,326 --> 00:51:38,128
MAN: I'm only worried
about one thing.
894
00:51:38,161 --> 00:51:40,263
I don't trust that
Ringo or his partner.
895
00:51:40,297 --> 00:51:42,966
BLACKIE: Don't worry about that now.
Listen to what I'm saying.
896
00:51:42,999 --> 00:51:45,302
Meanwhile me
and one-eyed Charlie
897
00:51:45,335 --> 00:51:46,937
slip into the back end
of the bank.
898
00:51:46,970 --> 00:51:48,371
What about the half-breed?
899
00:51:48,405 --> 00:51:49,806
Don't worry
about the half-breed.
900
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:51,608
LAZY: Yeah, don't worry
about the half-breed.
901
00:51:51,641 --> 00:51:52,676
Right.
902
00:51:52,709 --> 00:51:54,244
[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]
903
00:51:55,479 --> 00:51:57,280
Who's there?
CLYDE: Open up, please.
904
00:51:57,314 --> 00:51:59,182
Not until you show me
your mother.
905
00:52:01,485 --> 00:52:02,485
Okay.
906
00:52:06,189 --> 00:52:07,691
Clouseau. STEELE: Have him!
907
00:52:09,493 --> 00:52:10,961
[ CLOUSEAU GRUNTING ]
908
00:52:10,994 --> 00:52:12,329
Please give me some air.
909
00:52:13,396 --> 00:52:14,631
[ WHISTLING ]
910
00:52:14,664 --> 00:52:15,799
Mon dieu!
911
00:52:15,832 --> 00:52:16,900
What's this?
912
00:52:17,901 --> 00:52:19,736
Hello, Steele.
913
00:52:19,769 --> 00:52:21,805
It's the warden's son.
914
00:52:21,838 --> 00:52:25,509
Man, you was a dead ringer
for Clouseau.
915
00:52:25,542 --> 00:52:28,979
Yes, just goes to show what one can
do with five bobs worth of plastic,
916
00:52:29,012 --> 00:52:32,048
a few photographs and the take
from The Great Train Robbery.
917
00:52:33,283 --> 00:52:34,985
You're Johnny Rainbow.
918
00:52:35,018 --> 00:52:36,319
BOMBER: Johnny Rainbow!
919
00:52:36,353 --> 00:52:38,154
How's it, fellas?
920
00:52:38,188 --> 00:52:41,191
RINGO: But when we blow the vault,
it's gonna wake up the whole town.
921
00:52:41,224 --> 00:52:44,261
BLACKIE: We don't
blow the vault, stupid.
922
00:52:44,294 --> 00:52:46,263
I've bribed the bank president.
923
00:52:47,464 --> 00:52:48,765
Great thinking!
924
00:52:48,798 --> 00:52:51,101
[ ALL LAUGHING ]
925
00:52:51,134 --> 00:52:52,836
Bank robbery!
926
00:52:52,869 --> 00:52:54,104
You all set now? Right.
927
00:52:54,137 --> 00:52:55,272
Got the plan? Right.
928
00:52:55,305 --> 00:52:56,873
Now you two get on the roof
929
00:52:56,907 --> 00:52:59,085
and you drill the first law-man you
see coming across to the bank.
930
00:52:59,109 --> 00:53:00,410
Right.
931
00:53:00,443 --> 00:53:02,612
Hold it just a minute now.
Well, what is it?
932
00:53:02,646 --> 00:53:05,615
Now, you all know...
933
00:53:05,649 --> 00:53:08,618
Don't worry about
the half-breed, Ringo.
934
00:53:08,652 --> 00:53:10,787
LAZY: Yeah, Ringo, don't
worry about the half-breed.
935
00:53:10,820 --> 00:53:13,390
Switzerland is
the bank vault of the world,
936
00:53:13,423 --> 00:53:15,592
and on Saturday afternoon,
we're going to rob
937
00:53:15,625 --> 00:53:18,628
the biggest banks in 13 of the
biggest cities in the country.
938
00:53:19,829 --> 00:53:21,164
And who gets blamed?
939
00:53:22,165 --> 00:53:24,000
Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
940
00:53:25,969 --> 00:53:29,072
How are you going to be at 13
different banks all at the same time?
941
00:53:29,105 --> 00:53:30,105
[ CHUCKLES ]
942
00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:32,309
I'm not. You are.
943
00:53:38,782 --> 00:53:40,417
CLYDE: Be my guest, Steele.
944
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:51,328
Come on, that's great.
945
00:53:51,361 --> 00:53:52,629
How do the eyes look?
946
00:53:52,662 --> 00:53:54,397
Perfect, even from here.
947
00:53:54,431 --> 00:53:56,566
It's gonna work, Clyde.
948
00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:58,168
I do not like this joke.
949
00:53:59,169 --> 00:54:01,071
Count me out. What do you mean?
950
00:54:01,104 --> 00:54:02,472
Me, too. It's dodgy.
951
00:54:04,007 --> 00:54:06,176
No hard feelings, huh?
952
00:54:06,209 --> 00:54:08,645
No, as a matter of fact, I
need a couple of bright boys
953
00:54:08,678 --> 00:54:10,780
to do another little job for me.
954
00:54:10,814 --> 00:54:12,148
Clouseau.
955
00:54:12,182 --> 00:54:13,850
To kill Clouseau
will be my pleasure.
956
00:54:13,883 --> 00:54:15,285
But our ruin.
957
00:54:15,318 --> 00:54:17,120
Now, look. Listen.
Once we've made the haul,
958
00:54:17,153 --> 00:54:18,655
I want Clouseau running around
959
00:54:18,688 --> 00:54:21,591
trying to explain his innocence
to all those eyewitnesses.
960
00:54:21,625 --> 00:54:23,893
No, my friend,
do not kill Clouseau.
961
00:54:25,495 --> 00:54:26,763
Kidnap him.
962
00:54:26,796 --> 00:54:28,274
CLOUSEAU: And then
while you and your...
963
00:54:28,298 --> 00:54:30,600
And your Cossacks
are holding me prisoner,
964
00:54:30,634 --> 00:54:34,638
Ringo and One-Eye and the Half-breed
are... are robbing the bank.
965
00:54:34,671 --> 00:54:37,674
And Lefty and what's-his-name
are... are... are... are
966
00:54:37,707 --> 00:54:39,542
shooting up the hotel lobby.
967
00:54:39,576 --> 00:54:41,645
And the one
with the squeaky voice,
968
00:54:41,678 --> 00:54:44,547
the one with the squeaky
voice is up on the roof
969
00:54:44,581 --> 00:54:47,350
waiting to shoot the first
law-man that rides into town.
970
00:54:47,384 --> 00:54:48,985
Are you getting all this down?
971
00:54:49,019 --> 00:54:50,787
I think so. Yes, get
it, push it down.
972
00:54:50,820 --> 00:54:52,632
And... and the bank president
is in on it, too.
973
00:54:52,656 --> 00:54:53,857
Only the bank president? Yes.
974
00:54:53,890 --> 00:54:54,858
Not the Mayor? No.
975
00:54:54,891 --> 00:54:56,326
Or Brigitte Bardot?
976
00:54:56,359 --> 00:54:59,296
No. Not Brigitte Bardot.
Out! Out! Throw him out!
977
00:54:59,329 --> 00:55:02,432
And wait! The...
Ringo the breed, the Half...
978
00:55:03,233 --> 00:55:04,834
CLOUSEAU: Ow! Ow!
979
00:55:04,868 --> 00:55:06,870
Police brutality!
980
00:55:09,572 --> 00:55:11,174
Oh, Jacques.
981
00:55:11,207 --> 00:55:13,143
If you'd been with me
at the police station,
982
00:55:13,176 --> 00:55:14,687
maybe those fools
would have believed me.
983
00:55:14,711 --> 00:55:17,480
Oh, I knew you'd want someone
to watch the bank.
984
00:55:17,514 --> 00:55:19,883
They will not start
until the square is cleared.
985
00:55:19,916 --> 00:55:22,852
I do hope we won't have to wait too long.
I'm so cold.
986
00:55:22,886 --> 00:55:25,155
Yes. It is cold.
987
00:55:25,188 --> 00:55:26,823
Come, let's go home.
988
00:55:26,856 --> 00:55:28,992
[ CHUCKLING ]
Hey, what about the crooks?
989
00:55:29,025 --> 00:55:31,528
The crooks never sleep
and neither does Clouseau.
990
00:55:31,561 --> 00:55:32,562
[ CHUCKLING ]
991
00:56:23,179 --> 00:56:24,314
[ CAT MEOWING ]
992
00:56:27,650 --> 00:56:29,285
[ CAT MEOWS AGAIN ]
993
00:56:32,655 --> 00:56:33,757
[ DOG BARKING ]
994
00:56:41,331 --> 00:56:43,366
That will teach you
to sneak up on me.
995
00:57:19,035 --> 00:57:20,303
[ TRASHCANS CRASHING ]
996
00:57:41,491 --> 00:57:42,659
[ GRUNTING ]
997
00:57:42,692 --> 00:57:43,927
[ GROANING ]
998
00:57:49,065 --> 00:57:51,334
WEAVER: All right, Stockton,
come on.
999
00:57:51,367 --> 00:57:53,269
Over to the wall. Go on.
1000
00:57:54,170 --> 00:57:55,338
Turn around.
1001
00:57:56,005 --> 00:57:57,407
Hands up high.
1002
00:57:59,876 --> 00:58:01,377
All right, turn around.
1003
00:58:03,012 --> 00:58:04,981
Drop your hands now.
1004
00:58:05,014 --> 00:58:06,382
Hey, what's up, Weaver?
1005
00:58:08,017 --> 00:58:09,586
[ STOCKTON GRUNTING ]
1006
00:58:24,100 --> 00:58:25,568
[ GUN FIRING ]
1007
00:58:38,982 --> 00:58:40,917
[ TRAIN HORN BLOWING ]
1008
00:58:40,950 --> 00:58:43,887
CLOUSEAU: I don't
want praise, uh...
1009
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:46,055
At all times,
I always do my best.
1010
00:58:46,089 --> 00:58:47,757
Anyway, Commissioner Braithwaite
1011
00:58:47,790 --> 00:58:49,626
extends his
personal congratulations.
1012
00:58:49,659 --> 00:58:52,295
Yesterday for killing one
crook, I am reprimanded.
1013
00:58:52,328 --> 00:58:53,963
Today for killing two,
I'm complimented.
1014
00:58:53,997 --> 00:58:56,432
Tell Commissioner Braithwaite
to make up his mind.
1015
00:58:56,466 --> 00:58:57,867
On behalf of the Paris Surete,
1016
00:58:57,901 --> 00:59:00,470
allow me also to congratulate you.
It was marvellous.
1017
00:59:01,137 --> 00:59:02,639
[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING ]
1018
00:59:02,672 --> 00:59:05,408
Now, Clouseau, you're sure
you've got the rail ticket? Yes.
1019
00:59:05,441 --> 00:59:07,310
And the rest of the papers,
et cetera,
1020
00:59:07,343 --> 00:59:09,245
we found on
the dead man last night?
1021
00:59:09,279 --> 00:59:10,446
Good.
1022
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:12,081
[ MAN ON P.A. ANNOUNCING
IN FRENCH ]
1023
00:59:13,650 --> 00:59:15,485
Well, when you get to Zurich,
1024
00:59:15,518 --> 00:59:17,954
if you run into more
than you can handle, uh...
1025
00:59:17,987 --> 00:59:21,024
Up to now, I think I've done
pretty well on my own, don't you?
1026
00:59:22,158 --> 00:59:23,726
Yeah, see you. Yes.
1027
00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:24,803
Au revoir, Clouseau. Au revoir.
1028
00:59:24,827 --> 00:59:26,629
You are an ornament to France.
1029
00:59:26,663 --> 00:59:27,797
Merci.
1030
00:59:27,830 --> 00:59:29,265
[ WHISTLE BLOWING ]
1031
00:59:29,299 --> 00:59:32,302
Oh, don't forget the business
of Ringo and the Half-breed.
1032
00:59:32,335 --> 00:59:34,170
Clouseau, your train!
Your train!
1033
00:59:49,018 --> 00:59:50,353
[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING ]
1034
00:59:56,726 --> 00:59:59,162
Do you play jacks?
1035
00:59:59,195 --> 01:00:01,798
David can't get
past his threesies.
1036
01:00:01,831 --> 01:00:03,967
WOMAN: Don't bother
the nice man, Nicole.
1037
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:06,202
The nice man is not bothered.
1038
01:00:06,235 --> 01:00:07,971
[ BELL RINGING ]
1039
01:00:08,004 --> 01:00:09,305
I want to go to the toilet.
1040
01:00:09,339 --> 01:00:10,473
That's nice.
1041
01:00:11,407 --> 01:00:13,009
I want to go to the toilet.
1042
01:00:15,011 --> 01:00:16,479
Excuse me.
1043
01:00:16,512 --> 01:00:18,181
He wants to go to the toilet.
1044
01:00:19,015 --> 01:00:20,249
Come on, David.
1045
01:00:23,553 --> 01:00:24,988
[ GROANS ]
1046
01:00:25,021 --> 01:00:26,461
WOMAN: Next year,
I'm staying at home
1047
01:00:26,489 --> 01:00:28,391
and Daddy can
take you on holiday.
1048
01:00:30,593 --> 01:00:32,528
I can do ladies
in the washhouse.
1049
01:00:32,562 --> 01:00:33,796
Hmm.
1050
01:00:33,830 --> 01:00:36,432
Of course you'd have
to start out with babies.
1051
01:00:49,212 --> 01:00:50,646
Chicken in the basket.
1052
01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:53,483
Time for lunch, Nicole. But
I was showing Uncle Jacques
1053
01:00:53,516 --> 01:00:55,018
cherries in the basket.
1054
01:00:55,051 --> 01:00:56,119
Nicole.
1055
01:00:58,354 --> 01:01:02,425
Goodbye, Uncle Jacques. Ah, yes, goodbye.
Have a good time.
1056
01:01:04,727 --> 01:01:06,029
[ MUTTERING ]
1057
01:01:07,430 --> 01:01:08,430
Seven in the...
1058
01:01:09,065 --> 01:01:10,767
Feathers in the horse.
1059
01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:12,135
Duck in the soup.
1060
01:01:14,404 --> 01:01:17,774
Weaver, what are...
What are you doing here?
1061
01:01:17,807 --> 01:01:20,777
What am I doing here? Well, I thought
it was an opportunity of having
1062
01:01:20,810 --> 01:01:23,212
a little holiday
without my missus.
1063
01:01:23,246 --> 01:01:25,281
You've got a point there. Yeah.
1064
01:01:25,314 --> 01:01:28,117
As long as you're not here
to meddle in my case.
1065
01:01:28,151 --> 01:01:30,253
Oh, no, no,
wouldn't dream of it.
1066
01:01:32,255 --> 01:01:34,290
Would you care to
join me in an aperitif?
1067
01:01:34,323 --> 01:01:35,591
Surely, thank you.
1068
01:01:36,626 --> 01:01:37,794
[ BELL BUZZING ]
1069
01:01:37,827 --> 01:01:39,462
Um...
1070
01:01:39,495 --> 01:01:41,264
Training for
the Olympics, are we?
1071
01:01:41,297 --> 01:01:44,300
Oh, you think
this is child's play.
1072
01:01:44,333 --> 01:01:47,703
Well, isn't it?
In the hands of a child, yes.
1073
01:01:47,737 --> 01:01:50,773
But as a test of skill,
concentration and dexterity...
1074
01:01:50,807 --> 01:01:52,275
[ LAUGHING ]
1075
01:01:52,308 --> 01:01:54,944
Would you care for a small
game until the drinks arrive?
1076
01:01:54,977 --> 01:01:56,112
Surely.
1077
01:01:56,145 --> 01:01:59,415
That is unless you are
afraid to take on Clouseau.
1078
01:02:00,450 --> 01:02:02,552
I'm not afraid, Monsieur.
1079
01:02:02,585 --> 01:02:04,987
In fact,
I'm looking forward to it.
1080
01:02:07,123 --> 01:02:08,324
[ CLATTERING ]
1081
01:02:09,859 --> 01:02:11,594
Onesies. Onesies. One.
Yes, I've got it.
1082
01:02:11,627 --> 01:02:12,795
I have it right here.
1083
01:02:12,829 --> 01:02:13,829
Right.
1084
01:02:15,164 --> 01:02:16,899
Twosies.
You didn't pick anything up.
1085
01:02:16,933 --> 01:02:18,134
I did.
1086
01:02:18,167 --> 01:02:20,269
You had that lot in your fingers.
No, twosies.
1087
01:02:20,303 --> 01:02:21,971
I don't write them
unless you pick up.
1088
01:02:22,004 --> 01:02:24,240
Twosies. All right, twosies.
1089
01:02:24,273 --> 01:02:26,142
Threesies, threesies. Threesies.
1090
01:02:26,175 --> 01:02:28,277
[ HORN BLOWING ]
1091
01:02:29,145 --> 01:02:31,280
[ LAUGHING ]
1092
01:02:31,314 --> 01:02:32,648
A miss.
1093
01:02:32,682 --> 01:02:34,860
All right. All right. All right.
A veritable miss. Miss.
1094
01:02:34,884 --> 01:02:36,419
All right. Yes.
1095
01:02:36,452 --> 01:02:38,821
Here we go with this one now.
1096
01:02:38,855 --> 01:02:42,024
That's it.
No, you can't move the jacks.
1097
01:02:42,058 --> 01:02:44,827
The train hit a bump. I tell you
and when the train hits a bump...
1098
01:02:44,861 --> 01:02:47,639
You're breaking all the rules. It's my
jacks and I'll do what I want to do.
1099
01:02:47,663 --> 01:02:49,298
They're not your jacks. Yes.
1100
01:02:49,332 --> 01:02:50,800
Yes, all right.
That's it, that's it.
1101
01:02:50,833 --> 01:02:53,202
Leave them as they are. Now throw the ball.
Yes, all right.
1102
01:02:53,236 --> 01:02:55,538
Throw their ball. Onesies.
Onesies, onesies.
1103
01:02:55,571 --> 01:02:56,973
[ STUTTERING ] Twosies.
1104
01:02:57,006 --> 01:02:58,107
No! I have it, twosies.
1105
01:02:58,141 --> 01:02:59,475
You rang, sir?
1106
01:02:59,509 --> 01:03:01,978
Get away from me when the
jacks are hot. Get out!
1107
01:03:02,011 --> 01:03:03,813
Don't bother a man. Come on.
1108
01:03:03,846 --> 01:03:05,515
[ TRAIN HORN HONKING ] Threesies.
1109
01:03:07,383 --> 01:03:08,885
[ GUN FIRING ]
1110
01:03:14,657 --> 01:03:16,826
[ CLOUSEAU GROANING ]
1111
01:03:16,859 --> 01:03:18,661
Here's the ball. Your turn.
1112
01:03:20,496 --> 01:03:22,298
You quit while you're ahead?
1113
01:03:22,331 --> 01:03:24,967
Come back and finish the game.
1114
01:03:25,001 --> 01:03:27,170
Weaver,
come back and finish this.
1115
01:03:28,504 --> 01:03:30,039
Finish the game.
1116
01:03:30,072 --> 01:03:31,507
L-Listen.
1117
01:03:31,541 --> 01:03:34,977
We'll finish the jacks and then
we'll have a wrestling match.
1118
01:03:35,011 --> 01:03:36,012
[ GRUNTING ]
1119
01:03:38,848 --> 01:03:40,449
Not the door. No.
1120
01:03:41,751 --> 01:03:44,520
All right, I'll take off
20 points from my score.
1121
01:03:45,855 --> 01:03:48,724
No, please! Please!
1122
01:03:48,758 --> 01:03:49,926
[ HORN BLARING ]
1123
01:04:08,611 --> 01:04:09,946
[ MUTTERING ]
1124
01:04:16,252 --> 01:04:17,954
NICOLE: I didn't like that man.
1125
01:04:17,987 --> 01:04:19,956
He won't bother us any-more.
1126
01:04:19,989 --> 01:04:21,324
Read us a story.
1127
01:04:31,500 --> 01:04:32,969
"Edward Bear,"
1128
01:04:33,002 --> 01:04:36,272
"known to his friends as Winnie
the Pooh or Pooh for short,"
1129
01:04:36,305 --> 01:04:38,341
"was walking
through the forest one day."
1130
01:04:39,976 --> 01:04:42,144
[ MAN ON P.A. CHATTERING ]
1131
01:04:42,178 --> 01:04:44,080
Inspector Clouseau? Yes.
1132
01:04:47,283 --> 01:04:50,119
Ah, permit me to
introduce myself.
1133
01:04:50,152 --> 01:04:53,322
Director of National Security.
Hoeffler, isn't it?
1134
01:04:53,356 --> 01:04:54,957
The Minister of Finance
has assembled
1135
01:04:54,991 --> 01:04:56,559
the bank presidents
as you requested.
1136
01:04:56,592 --> 01:04:57,593
Good. Come.
1137
01:04:59,328 --> 01:05:01,130
The car is waiting outside.
1138
01:05:01,163 --> 01:05:03,499
Just a minute, Jacques. You
must be very careful. You see.
1139
01:05:03,532 --> 01:05:05,968
I saw Weaver on the train and
I think he's one of the gang.
1140
01:05:06,002 --> 01:05:07,479
Thank you. I'll see you
at the Tellerhof, huh?
1141
01:05:07,503 --> 01:05:09,071
Yeah.
1142
01:05:09,105 --> 01:05:11,140
[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING ]
1143
01:05:11,173 --> 01:05:12,842
One minute. Of course.
1144
01:05:17,513 --> 01:05:18,681
Get that girl.
1145
01:05:29,158 --> 01:05:30,826
This car is at your disposal.
1146
01:05:30,860 --> 01:05:33,029
The driver has his instructions.
1147
01:05:33,062 --> 01:05:34,463
[ BELL DINGING ]
1148
01:05:40,336 --> 01:05:42,805
How did it go? Everything
according to plan.
1149
01:05:42,838 --> 01:05:45,708
Good. We'll stop
and switch clothes on the way.
1150
01:05:53,149 --> 01:05:54,583
[ CLOCK CHIMING ]
1151
01:06:04,327 --> 01:06:05,561
[ CAR DOOR CLOSING ]
1152
01:06:09,832 --> 01:06:11,634
Change and get back
as quickly as you can.
1153
01:06:11,667 --> 01:06:13,169
Yeah. Right away. See you.
1154
01:06:17,506 --> 01:06:19,275
BERGESCH: And finally Zurich.
1155
01:06:21,610 --> 01:06:24,213
It is for these reasons,
gentlemen,
1156
01:06:24,246 --> 01:06:26,916
that I have called you all,
1157
01:06:26,949 --> 01:06:31,654
you bank presidents of Switzerland
here to Zurich today.
1158
01:06:31,687 --> 01:06:35,257
I, as the responsible
Minister of Finance,
1159
01:06:35,291 --> 01:06:39,095
have declared this to be
a national emergency.
1160
01:06:39,128 --> 01:06:42,498
And I have
pledged on your behalf,
1161
01:06:42,531 --> 01:06:45,568
your fullest,
your fullest cooperation
1162
01:06:46,869 --> 01:06:48,404
to Inspector Clouseau.
1163
01:06:50,439 --> 01:06:51,474
Inspector.
1164
01:06:53,075 --> 01:06:55,444
Mr. Minister,
honoured bank presidents.
1165
01:06:57,046 --> 01:06:59,048
After months of
meticulous police work,
1166
01:06:59,081 --> 01:07:01,250
we have managed to
piece together a picture of
1167
01:07:01,283 --> 01:07:03,786
what we think
the crooks will do.
1168
01:07:03,819 --> 01:07:06,288
The robbery will
take place tomorrow.
1169
01:07:06,322 --> 01:07:07,423
ALL: Tomorrow?
1170
01:07:07,456 --> 01:07:09,358
JAVAERT: Saturdays
the banks close early.
1171
01:07:09,392 --> 01:07:11,927
Precisely. Inspector Clouseau.
1172
01:07:11,961 --> 01:07:14,597
Yes?
If you are so well-informed,
1173
01:07:14,630 --> 01:07:17,933
how's it possible that you don't
know which bank they plan to rob?
1174
01:07:17,967 --> 01:07:19,602
Well, you see, from time to time
1175
01:07:19,635 --> 01:07:21,904
the gang has had all your
banks under surveillance.
1176
01:07:21,937 --> 01:07:23,272
Oh, I see.
1177
01:07:23,305 --> 01:07:25,975
Now, I want you to take
a very good look at my face.
1178
01:07:29,812 --> 01:07:32,982
When the time comes, I shall fly
by helicopter to the unlucky bank
1179
01:07:33,015 --> 01:07:36,452
and personally supervise
the transference of all funds.
1180
01:07:36,485 --> 01:07:38,954
I have with me today Inspector
Weaver of Scotland Yard
1181
01:07:38,988 --> 01:07:40,389
who has a few more
remarks to make.
1182
01:07:40,423 --> 01:07:41,657
Inspector Weaver.
1183
01:07:43,025 --> 01:07:47,463
Gentlemen, under
no circumstances whatsoever
1184
01:07:47,496 --> 01:07:50,499
are you to follow any instructions
from an intermediary.
1185
01:07:51,834 --> 01:07:54,236
Neither must you accept or honor
1186
01:07:54,270 --> 01:07:58,240
any apparent radio
or telephone message
1187
01:07:58,274 --> 01:08:00,910
from either
Inspector Clouseau or myself.
1188
01:08:00,943 --> 01:08:04,113
Only that way can you be sure
that your money is safe.
1189
01:08:04,146 --> 01:08:06,715
In the hands of
Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
1190
01:08:09,351 --> 01:08:11,720
There,
now may I speak to London?
1191
01:08:13,722 --> 01:08:16,792
But that's...
That's all the change I have.
1192
01:08:16,826 --> 01:08:19,128
I've been trying to make
this c-call for an hour.
1193
01:08:19,161 --> 01:08:20,529
Wait, wait.
1194
01:08:20,563 --> 01:08:22,298
My mother has just come by.
1195
01:08:22,331 --> 01:08:23,999
Mother, have you got any money?
1196
01:08:24,033 --> 01:08:26,502
Yes. Very good,
thank you very much.
1197
01:08:26,535 --> 01:08:29,371
Oh, luckily she had
some change with her,
1198
01:08:29,405 --> 01:08:32,675
a miraculous occurrence
that she didn't tell me about.
1199
01:08:33,576 --> 01:08:36,679
Oh, and here comes
my Uncle George.
1200
01:08:36,712 --> 01:08:40,883
Uncle George seems also to have a
little bit of change with him.
1201
01:08:40,916 --> 01:08:44,153
And here it comes into the
telephone at this very moment.
1202
01:08:44,186 --> 01:08:45,621
[ GRUNTING ]
1203
01:08:45,654 --> 01:08:50,493
And here comes my sister with
another 20 centimes and 20 more.
1204
01:08:50,526 --> 01:08:52,361
Thank you very much,
dear relatives.
1205
01:08:52,394 --> 01:08:53,729
Now, uh...
1206
01:08:53,762 --> 01:08:55,464
[ EXCLAIMS ]
1207
01:08:55,498 --> 01:08:58,167
70 centimes more
but I have no more buttons.
1208
01:08:58,200 --> 01:09:01,604
I mean, can't you trust me,
a policeman of good standing?
1209
01:09:03,339 --> 01:09:07,676
Wait, I'll... I'll see if I can find
someone in this humble village
1210
01:09:07,710 --> 01:09:11,147
that will trust a man with an honest face.
Don't go away.
1211
01:09:11,180 --> 01:09:15,084
No. Wait, I made a mistake, don't
hang up the tel-telephone.
1212
01:09:15,851 --> 01:09:17,686
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
1213
01:09:19,388 --> 01:09:20,789
[ CHILDREN CHATTERING ]
1214
01:09:22,057 --> 01:09:23,259
Looks like rain.
1215
01:09:24,193 --> 01:09:25,294
[ BELL TOLLING ]
1216
01:09:26,562 --> 01:09:27,897
Listen, have you...
1217
01:09:29,031 --> 01:09:31,300
Hey, can... can I borrow? Can...
1218
01:09:42,978 --> 01:09:46,482
Ah! No, I need...
I need 70 centimes.
1219
01:09:47,616 --> 01:09:48,884
No, I'm not one of the poor.
1220
01:09:48,918 --> 01:09:51,720
I have to make a telephone call.
1221
01:09:51,754 --> 01:09:54,723
[ STUTTERING ]
I have to make a phone call.
1222
01:09:54,757 --> 01:09:56,625
I'm not a thief or any... Here.
1223
01:09:56,659 --> 01:09:59,795
I... I have a wristwatch, a watch.
1224
01:09:59,828 --> 01:10:03,699
I will... I will... I'll give
you my... my... my automatic,
1225
01:10:03,732 --> 01:10:07,169
slightly waterproof watch. I'll
give you trade for the money.
1226
01:10:07,903 --> 01:10:11,307
[ SPEAKS GERMAN ]
1227
01:10:11,340 --> 01:10:13,943
Yes. Yes, that's...
That's what I always say.
1228
01:10:13,976 --> 01:10:14,977
[ CLANGING ]
1229
01:10:18,447 --> 01:10:20,883
No, you don't!
1230
01:10:20,916 --> 01:10:23,285
Some scoundrel put his, uh,
buttons in the telephone.
1231
01:10:23,319 --> 01:10:24,320
It's kaput.
1232
01:10:26,922 --> 01:10:28,991
We've got two minutes
to get this truck moving.
1233
01:10:29,024 --> 01:10:31,460
Now, Steele, me old darling,
how's all this going, all right?
1234
01:10:31,493 --> 01:10:34,129
It's finished, do you want to see it?
Yes, certainly.
1235
01:10:38,033 --> 01:10:41,170
Oh, that's great. Marvelous.
Keep that up.
1236
01:10:41,203 --> 01:10:43,672
Well, come on you guys.
Get this thing moving.
1237
01:10:49,144 --> 01:10:50,446
I'll be back
in about 20 minutes.
1238
01:10:50,479 --> 01:10:52,348
Make sure that
every-thing's ready.
1239
01:11:00,956 --> 01:11:03,626
Be ready. Bank President Wulf was
warned that this might happen.
1240
01:11:03,659 --> 01:11:06,295
Yes, yes, but when a man is
having his first grandchild...
1241
01:11:06,328 --> 01:11:08,597
I order you to transfer
everything from the vault
1242
01:11:08,631 --> 01:11:10,366
to the armoured car
waiting outside.
1243
01:11:10,399 --> 01:11:12,034
I shall take
full responsibility.
1244
01:11:12,067 --> 01:11:13,302
Of course, Inspector Clouseau,
1245
01:11:13,335 --> 01:11:15,671
now that it is no longer
my responsibility.
1246
01:12:29,645 --> 01:12:30,889
I'm sorry, sir,
the bank is closed.
1247
01:12:30,913 --> 01:12:33,615
I have an... I have an emergency.
I can't allow you.
1248
01:12:33,649 --> 01:12:36,285
Listen, I must cash
a check for three francs.
1249
01:12:36,318 --> 01:12:37,753
I have to make a telephone call.
1250
01:12:37,786 --> 01:12:39,121
We have no money.
1251
01:12:39,154 --> 01:12:41,357
[ STUTTERING ] What do you
mean you have no money?
1252
01:12:41,390 --> 01:12:43,192
I told you, we have no money.
1253
01:12:43,225 --> 01:12:45,260
The Bank of Zurich has no money?
1254
01:12:45,294 --> 01:12:47,629
W-W-Where is...
Where is the concierge?
1255
01:12:47,663 --> 01:12:51,633
Hey, listen, concierge,
I have an important...
1256
01:12:51,667 --> 01:12:53,001
Inspector Clouseau!
1257
01:12:53,969 --> 01:12:55,304
You know who I am?
1258
01:12:55,337 --> 01:12:58,607
Yes, but you... you... you
just left with the money.
1259
01:12:58,640 --> 01:13:01,143
No, no, no. This fellow here
won't give me any money.
1260
01:13:01,176 --> 01:13:03,278
Yes, but surely, I mean...
1261
01:13:03,312 --> 01:13:05,781
It's a boy! It's a boy.
1262
01:13:05,814 --> 01:13:07,249
[ CHUCKLING ]
1263
01:13:07,282 --> 01:13:10,119
It's a boy. It's a...
1264
01:13:10,152 --> 01:13:13,322
Inspector Clouseau!
Oh, no, no, no, not my bank.
1265
01:13:13,355 --> 01:13:16,392
It's amazing. How is it everyone
in Zurich knows who I am?
1266
01:13:16,425 --> 01:13:18,727
The Inspector took
full responsibility
1267
01:13:18,761 --> 01:13:21,330
so all our money has been
loaded into the truck.
1268
01:13:21,363 --> 01:13:23,766
That's perfectly all right.
It's part of the plan.
1269
01:13:23,799 --> 01:13:25,634
Plan? What... What plan?
Your plan.
1270
01:13:26,668 --> 01:13:28,270
No, my plan is to cash a check
1271
01:13:28,303 --> 01:13:30,973
and make
a telephone call to London.
1272
01:13:31,006 --> 01:13:32,441
There's something
terribly wrong.
1273
01:13:32,474 --> 01:13:34,843
Well, I'm glad someone
finally agrees with me.
1274
01:13:34,877 --> 01:13:37,780
Guard! W-W-What do you mean,
"Cash a check"?
1275
01:13:37,813 --> 01:13:39,181
Take him, take him!
1276
01:13:39,214 --> 01:13:42,117
No. It's... It's only five francs.
No need to make a fuss.
1277
01:13:51,493 --> 01:13:53,762
Come on, fellas,
let's get this thing moving.
1278
01:13:53,796 --> 01:13:56,365
CLYDE: Come on,
get these doors open.
1279
01:13:56,398 --> 01:13:58,267
Quickly, come on. Right.
1280
01:13:58,300 --> 01:13:59,635
Heave!
1281
01:13:59,668 --> 01:14:01,737
Come along, we haven't got all day.
Push it!
1282
01:14:02,671 --> 01:14:04,139
Come on.
1283
01:14:04,173 --> 01:14:05,674
[ GRUNTING ]
1284
01:14:07,543 --> 01:14:08,577
Okay.
1285
01:16:15,671 --> 01:16:17,806
What are you doing here?
1286
01:16:17,839 --> 01:16:20,642
I let you in. You're supposed
to be watching the main gate.
1287
01:16:20,676 --> 01:16:23,512
You heard what Johnny Rain...
Inspector Clouseau said.
1288
01:16:28,483 --> 01:16:30,319
He almost gave
the whole thing away.
1289
01:16:30,352 --> 01:16:33,989
Now, for heaven's sake, man, bolt that
door and let nobody else come in.
1290
01:16:36,825 --> 01:16:38,126
How's it going?
1291
01:16:38,160 --> 01:16:41,663
Hold my slide rule
and I'll find out for you.
1292
01:16:41,697 --> 01:16:43,832
It should be all ready
in about an hour and 10.
1293
01:16:43,865 --> 01:16:45,534
Good, keep the thing going.
1294
01:16:45,567 --> 01:16:46,811
Come on, quick, man,
get this over there.
1295
01:16:46,835 --> 01:16:48,537
Watch you don't strain yourself.
1296
01:16:48,570 --> 01:16:49,972
Come on, Steele.
1297
01:16:50,005 --> 01:16:53,442
Okay. CLYDE: Over there on top
of that crate there, will you?
1298
01:16:53,475 --> 01:16:55,310
[ WHIRRING ]
1299
01:16:57,846 --> 01:16:59,214
[ SHIP'S HORN BLOWING ]
1300
01:17:04,987 --> 01:17:07,189
Okay, swing it down.
1301
01:17:07,222 --> 01:17:09,524
Hold to your left.
Okay, now let her go.
1302
01:17:09,558 --> 01:17:12,227
Down. Come on, go in slow.
1303
01:17:12,260 --> 01:17:14,162
Come on. Don't waste time...
1304
01:17:14,196 --> 01:17:15,731
Well, by now, Steele, old chap,
1305
01:17:15,764 --> 01:17:19,735
they're searching airports and
railroads for our fast getaway.
1306
01:17:19,768 --> 01:17:21,479
The last thing the police
will be looking for
1307
01:17:21,503 --> 01:17:24,006
is a slow moving barge
loaded with candy.
1308
01:17:24,039 --> 01:17:26,141
Yeah, couldn't have
done better myself.
1309
01:17:26,174 --> 01:17:28,710
Now, look, I have to be
in the city in 10 minutes.
1310
01:17:28,744 --> 01:17:31,146
Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
1311
01:17:31,179 --> 01:17:35,050
If we've got to take a ride on this
floating time bomb, what about him?
1312
01:17:35,083 --> 01:17:38,153
The Superintendent Weaver is the
only member of our little group
1313
01:17:38,186 --> 01:17:40,489
with a legitimate reason
for being in Switzerland.
1314
01:17:40,522 --> 01:17:42,991
While you people are taking a
pleasure-cruise down the Rhine,
1315
01:17:43,025 --> 01:17:45,761
good old Weaver's gonna be stuck
at headquarters, isn't he?
1316
01:17:45,794 --> 01:17:46,938
So that if anything goes wrong,
1317
01:17:46,962 --> 01:17:48,530
you'll get warned, won't you?
1318
01:17:48,563 --> 01:17:50,999
Yes, well, you know that
we're on 102 megacycles,
1319
01:17:51,033 --> 01:17:52,243
so you will keep
in contact with us.
1320
01:17:52,267 --> 01:17:53,602
You gonna take me or not?
1321
01:17:53,635 --> 01:17:55,113
Yeah, come on.
We'll meet again in Cologne.
1322
01:17:55,137 --> 01:17:56,405
Cologne.
1323
01:17:56,438 --> 01:17:58,040
[ SEAGULLS CAWING ]
1324
01:17:58,073 --> 01:18:01,276
[ SHIP'S HORN BLOWING ]
1325
01:18:01,309 --> 01:18:05,514
NEWSPAPER MAN: News, Express.
Robbery sensation.
1326
01:18:05,547 --> 01:18:09,384
Famous French Inspector arrested.
Read all about it.
1327
01:18:11,486 --> 01:18:13,789
[ WHISTLE BLOWING ] News, Express.
1328
01:18:13,822 --> 01:18:16,124
You're only the watchman
at the Lindt factory.
1329
01:18:16,158 --> 01:18:19,127
Mmm-hmm.
How did you get the money?
1330
01:18:19,161 --> 01:18:21,763
Well, I... I... Perhaps we
can refresh your memory.
1331
01:18:21,797 --> 01:18:23,065
Bring in Clouseau.
1332
01:18:24,232 --> 01:18:26,234
Be so kind as to
empty your pockets.
1333
01:18:26,268 --> 01:18:28,070
But I already have. On the desk!
1334
01:18:41,016 --> 01:18:42,484
Ah, thank you, Beckman.
1335
01:18:43,852 --> 01:18:45,487
Do you recognize this man?
1336
01:18:46,354 --> 01:18:48,957
Yes, I do. Can I go now?
1337
01:18:48,990 --> 01:18:51,126
You're a teller of tales,
my friend,
1338
01:18:51,159 --> 01:18:53,095
and also you are a liar!
1339
01:18:53,128 --> 01:18:56,131
If there's one thing I
despise, it is a cop gone bad.
1340
01:18:56,164 --> 01:18:58,100
Have a care
who you're calling a cop.
1341
01:18:58,133 --> 01:18:59,634
I happen to be a full inspector.
1342
01:18:59,668 --> 01:19:00,802
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
1343
01:19:00,836 --> 01:19:01,937
J'accuse!
1344
01:19:01,970 --> 01:19:05,240
This man threw me
from the 917 Zurich Express,
1345
01:19:05,273 --> 01:19:08,643
stole my money, and... and I accuse
him of... of cheating at jacks.
1346
01:19:08,677 --> 01:19:09,921
This fellow's ill.
Look after him.
1347
01:19:09,945 --> 01:19:12,247
Here, that's mine.
I... That's a dangerous...
1348
01:19:12,280 --> 01:19:13,949
Sayonara.
1349
01:19:13,982 --> 01:19:16,518
[ MUMBLING ] Here, that's mine.
You've had yours.
1350
01:19:16,551 --> 01:19:18,620
That man's a crook.
Stop that man.
1351
01:19:18,653 --> 01:19:19,921
Beckman! That man's a crook.
1352
01:19:19,955 --> 01:19:21,957
He's had his share,
this is mine.
1353
01:19:21,990 --> 01:19:24,292
Beckman, I called you. I
said to stop him, you fool.
1354
01:19:24,326 --> 01:19:25,327
Man? I saw no man.
1355
01:19:25,360 --> 01:19:26,628
[ ALL CLAMORING ]
1356
01:19:26,661 --> 01:19:27,729
I saw nobody.
1357
01:19:37,806 --> 01:19:38,807
[ EXCLAIMS ]
1358
01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:40,542
Take his feet.
We'll get rid of the body.
1359
01:19:40,575 --> 01:19:41,943
There are two of you.
1360
01:19:41,977 --> 01:19:43,645
Come on, let's hurry it up.
1361
01:19:47,215 --> 01:19:50,886
My face! You've stolen my face.
1362
01:19:50,919 --> 01:19:53,054
Give me back my face, you fiend.
1363
01:19:59,761 --> 01:20:01,163
[ GLASS SHATTERING ]
1364
01:20:05,167 --> 01:20:08,170
[ MUFFLED ]
Oh, my head. Help me! Help!
1365
01:20:08,670 --> 01:20:09,938
Oh, my!
1366
01:20:11,339 --> 01:20:12,340
Thank you.
1367
01:20:13,742 --> 01:20:15,177
[ MUFFLED SCREAMING ]
1368
01:20:17,345 --> 01:20:18,446
Hit him back.
1369
01:20:28,190 --> 01:20:31,359
And that... And that's just
the beginning, my friend.
1370
01:20:31,393 --> 01:20:33,528
I've just...
I've just begun to fight.
1371
01:20:34,763 --> 01:20:37,098
If I had a silver bullet,
then you'd see.
1372
01:20:41,736 --> 01:20:42,938
Are you all right? Yes.
1373
01:20:42,971 --> 01:20:44,940
Can I help you?
1374
01:20:44,973 --> 01:20:46,308
What an experience!
1375
01:20:47,542 --> 01:20:48,977
Ah, it lives!
1376
01:20:50,312 --> 01:20:52,113
Get him. Get him.
1377
01:20:52,147 --> 01:20:55,016
This person.
Get him, get him from behind.
1378
01:20:55,050 --> 01:20:56,751
He'll break my neck.
1379
01:20:57,953 --> 01:21:00,288
Hit... hit this... this...
1380
01:21:00,322 --> 01:21:01,990
I can't stand that the pain.
1381
01:21:16,271 --> 01:21:17,272
He's dead.
1382
01:21:17,806 --> 01:21:18,807
Who was he?
1383
01:21:25,447 --> 01:21:27,082
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
1384
01:21:31,253 --> 01:21:32,487
[ HORN BLOWING ]
1385
01:21:33,588 --> 01:21:34,990
♪ [ MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO ] ♪
1386
01:21:52,440 --> 01:21:53,642
[ SEAGULLS CAWING ]
1387
01:21:56,011 --> 01:21:57,788
We are here waiting at the
Lindt Chocolate Factory
1388
01:21:57,812 --> 01:21:59,648
to get a statement
from Inspector Clouseau
1389
01:21:59,681 --> 01:22:00,958
who's just been
released from custody
1390
01:22:00,982 --> 01:22:02,450
as a suspect
in this massive robbery.
1391
01:22:02,484 --> 01:22:04,919
Ah, here he comes. Ah, Inspector...
Latest reports tell us...
1392
01:22:04,953 --> 01:22:07,289
Hello... in charge of this
world wide investigation.
1393
01:22:07,322 --> 01:22:08,957
Inspector Clouseau. Yes?
1394
01:22:08,990 --> 01:22:10,458
Could you give us
a statement please?
1395
01:22:10,492 --> 01:22:13,295
Yes, chocolate makes
one very thirsty.
1396
01:22:13,328 --> 01:22:14,696
But, this is Telstar,
1397
01:22:14,729 --> 01:22:16,474
millions of people all over
the world are watching.
1398
01:22:16,498 --> 01:22:18,133
Yes, listen to this.
1399
01:22:18,166 --> 01:22:19,968
Millions of people
all over the world.
1400
01:22:20,001 --> 01:22:21,503
There has been a robbery.
1401
01:22:21,536 --> 01:22:23,538
The money has been spirited
out of Switzerland
1402
01:22:23,571 --> 01:22:26,641
wrapped as innocent
little Lindt chocolate bars.
1403
01:22:26,675 --> 01:22:27,942
It could be anywhere,
1404
01:22:27,976 --> 01:22:30,612
so if your chocolate bar
has money in it,
1405
01:22:30,645 --> 01:22:32,347
be sure and contact me
and I promise you
1406
01:22:32,380 --> 01:22:34,716
not only the gratitude
of the Swiss Government
1407
01:22:34,749 --> 01:22:38,320
but a free chocolate bar
as well. Thank you.
1408
01:22:38,353 --> 01:22:40,164
Give me that! That's my money.
Get away. Get away.
1409
01:22:40,188 --> 01:22:41,790
I saw this first.
I got my hands on it.
1410
01:22:41,823 --> 01:22:44,826
I had this suit made
in Hong Kong.
1411
01:22:52,334 --> 01:22:53,334
[ YELLS ]
1412
01:23:17,258 --> 01:23:19,861
MAN ON RADIO: We report the
autobahn from Cologne's sealed off.
1413
01:23:19,894 --> 01:23:21,663
That's our final report.
Over and out.
1414
01:23:21,696 --> 01:23:22,964
Roger and goodbye.
1415
01:23:28,269 --> 01:23:29,771
CLOUSEAU: Is that you?
1416
01:23:31,740 --> 01:23:34,008
Yeah, of course it's me.
1417
01:23:34,042 --> 01:23:37,212
I've been trying to contact you.
Where've you been?
1418
01:23:37,245 --> 01:23:39,547
You still wearing
that ridiculous face?
1419
01:23:39,581 --> 01:23:41,016
How dare you
talk to me like that,
1420
01:23:41,049 --> 01:23:43,752
you common prison barber, you.
1421
01:23:43,785 --> 01:23:45,954
Hey, wait a minute.
Don't touch... touch my face!
1422
01:23:45,987 --> 01:23:47,122
But you're dead, aren't you?
1423
01:23:47,155 --> 01:23:49,724
Yes, and you're under arrest.
1424
01:23:49,758 --> 01:23:52,527
What do you want, handcuffs? Yes,
that's what I'm... I'm looking for.
1425
01:23:52,560 --> 01:23:53,804
Well, maybe you left them
in the car.
1426
01:23:53,828 --> 01:23:55,773
No, they're not in there. I just...
Here are the keys,
1427
01:23:55,797 --> 01:23:57,232
you need the keys
to the handcuffs.
1428
01:23:57,265 --> 01:23:58,566
No, that's my car keys.
1429
01:23:58,600 --> 01:24:00,544
They're over there. They're
over there, get the keys.
1430
01:24:00,568 --> 01:24:02,613
You come with me. We're both...
People are getting annoyed.
1431
01:24:02,637 --> 01:24:04,482
We're both going down...
Take a look at that traffic.
1432
01:24:04,506 --> 01:24:05,740
Quiet! You get the keys,
1433
01:24:05,774 --> 01:24:06,984
I'll stay here.
You get the keys.
1434
01:24:07,008 --> 01:24:08,376
All right, don't...
Don't go away!
1435
01:24:08,410 --> 01:24:10,478
All right, I'll stay here.
1436
01:24:10,512 --> 01:24:13,314
Where are my keys?
What have you done?
1437
01:24:13,348 --> 01:24:14,549
Where are my keys?
1438
01:24:14,582 --> 01:24:16,117
[ CAR HONKING ]
1439
01:24:16,151 --> 01:24:19,320
Where are they?
They're not here.
1440
01:24:22,123 --> 01:24:24,592
[ BOTH EXCLAIMING ]
1441
01:24:51,886 --> 01:24:53,288
[ BELL RINGING ]
1442
01:24:53,321 --> 01:24:58,226
Don't... Don't push that. Don't do that.
Don't start the bridge.
1443
01:25:05,300 --> 01:25:07,702
[ CLOUSEAU SHOUTING ]
1444
01:25:34,395 --> 01:25:35,395
[ HONKING ]
1445
01:26:07,929 --> 01:26:09,831
Help!
1446
01:26:09,864 --> 01:26:11,199
[ YELLING ]
1447
01:26:17,805 --> 01:26:18,973
Ow! Ow!
1448
01:26:20,708 --> 01:26:22,710
[ HORN BLOWING ]
1449
01:26:22,744 --> 01:26:26,548
Help! SOS for
a drowning detective!
1450
01:26:33,655 --> 01:26:35,123
[ WOMAN SCREAMING ]
1451
01:26:39,994 --> 01:26:41,930
CLYDE: Hey, what you got there?
1452
01:26:41,963 --> 01:26:43,274
I've brought you
a little present.
1453
01:26:43,298 --> 01:26:44,599
Present?
1454
01:26:44,632 --> 01:26:45,910
MAN: Here, come on, haul him in.
1455
01:26:45,934 --> 01:26:48,903
CLOUSEAU: Don't, don't! Don't grab
me by my right arm like that.
1456
01:26:48,937 --> 01:26:50,204
Get up!
1457
01:26:50,238 --> 01:26:52,473
Oh, if I wasn't encased
in a balloon
1458
01:26:52,507 --> 01:26:54,809
you'd see some action
at this point.
1459
01:26:55,643 --> 01:26:58,580
Let... Let me go.
1460
01:26:58,613 --> 01:27:01,149
Inspector Clouseau,
welcome aboard.
1461
01:27:01,182 --> 01:27:04,285
Run for your life,
these are dangerous criminals.
1462
01:27:04,319 --> 01:27:06,988
We're all criminals, on this
boat, ain't we, Rainbow?
1463
01:27:08,022 --> 01:27:09,157
Johnny Rainbow.
1464
01:27:10,158 --> 01:27:11,960
You can't trust anybody any more.
1465
01:27:11,993 --> 01:27:14,562
Oh, Inspector Clouseau,
you can trust me.
1466
01:27:14,596 --> 01:27:16,006
And while we're at it,
I'd like to say
1467
01:27:16,030 --> 01:27:18,232
how very grateful we are to you.
1468
01:27:18,266 --> 01:27:21,769
For without your cooperation
and that exquisite face,
1469
01:27:21,803 --> 01:27:24,472
I couldn't have pulled off
this entire operation.
1470
01:27:25,039 --> 01:27:26,674
[ ALL LAUGHING ]
1471
01:27:26,708 --> 01:27:28,009
Bye-bye, Superman.
1472
01:27:28,810 --> 01:27:30,511
Take him away.
1473
01:27:30,545 --> 01:27:34,582
You'll soon... You'll soon be laughing on
the other side of my face, my friend.
1474
01:27:34,616 --> 01:27:36,117
Ow! Ow!
1475
01:27:36,150 --> 01:27:39,387
That hold was ruled illegal
at the Geneva Convention.
1476
01:27:39,988 --> 01:27:41,189
Ow! Ow.
1477
01:27:45,293 --> 01:27:48,196
Jacques, they got you too.
1478
01:27:48,229 --> 01:27:50,431
Are you all right?
You look awful.
1479
01:27:50,465 --> 01:27:52,767
What have they done to you?
1480
01:27:52,800 --> 01:27:56,504
Dragged me backwards
in the water without skis,
1481
01:27:56,537 --> 01:28:00,475
thrown me from a train,
given me drugs,
1482
01:28:00,508 --> 01:28:04,145
and worse than that, they
punctured my rubber underwear.
1483
01:28:06,014 --> 01:28:08,683
But still you're alive
and in one piece.
1484
01:28:08,716 --> 01:28:10,785
Now, let's figure some way
of getting out of here.
1485
01:28:10,818 --> 01:28:12,487
You figure it out.
1486
01:28:12,520 --> 01:28:14,656
What do you mean
I figure it out?
1487
01:28:14,689 --> 01:28:15,966
What are we going to do,
Jacques?
1488
01:28:15,990 --> 01:28:18,993
I mean that I don't know
what we're going to do.
1489
01:28:19,027 --> 01:28:21,462
But they're going to kill us.
How can you talk like that?
1490
01:28:21,496 --> 01:28:24,432
I can talk like that
because I face facts.
1491
01:28:26,834 --> 01:28:28,403
I ruin everything I touch.
1492
01:28:29,871 --> 01:28:32,473
Hey, what's the matter with you?
1493
01:28:32,507 --> 01:28:37,111
Arrested twice. I destroy a phone
booth at the railway station,
1494
01:28:38,613 --> 01:28:40,648
I steal from a nun.
1495
01:28:40,682 --> 01:28:44,752
I don't know my own face. A man comes
up to me with my own face tied on.
1496
01:28:44,786 --> 01:28:46,454
I don't recognize who it is.
1497
01:28:47,689 --> 01:28:49,824
I don't...
I don't deserve to have
1498
01:28:49,857 --> 01:28:52,126
this autographed picture
of Sean Connery.
1499
01:28:52,960 --> 01:28:55,029
You accept defeat so easily.
1500
01:28:55,063 --> 01:28:58,499
So easily? This defeat has taken
every ounce of my strength.
1501
01:28:58,533 --> 01:29:00,702
No, every thing's going
to turn out all right.
1502
01:29:00,735 --> 01:29:02,904
It's not.
They're going to kill me.
1503
01:29:02,937 --> 01:29:04,906
They're going to kill me,
I tell you.
1504
01:29:06,808 --> 01:29:09,277
Thanks. I needed that.
1505
01:29:09,310 --> 01:29:11,245
Now maybe you can face reality.
1506
01:29:11,279 --> 01:29:13,881
Look, you got Weaver. The worst
traitor Scotland Yard's ever had.
1507
01:29:13,915 --> 01:29:15,116
That's true.
1508
01:29:15,149 --> 01:29:17,461
You killed three members of the
gang single-handed and you...
1509
01:29:17,485 --> 01:29:19,787
I don't mean to interrupt you,
it was five, you know.
1510
01:29:19,821 --> 01:29:21,389
And you helped
to find the money.
1511
01:29:21,422 --> 01:29:24,625
Helped? What do you mean, "helped"?
I did it all by myself.
1512
01:29:24,659 --> 01:29:27,061
Who do you think got the money back?
It was me.
1513
01:29:27,095 --> 01:29:28,863
We're going to bust
our way out of this tub.
1514
01:29:28,896 --> 01:29:29,964
[ CLANGING ]
1515
01:29:29,997 --> 01:29:31,099
[ GROANING ]
1516
01:29:31,132 --> 01:29:32,667
That was not the door.
1517
01:29:34,168 --> 01:29:35,403
[ HORN BLOWING ]
1518
01:29:44,645 --> 01:29:46,247
Okay, you two, let's go.
1519
01:30:01,929 --> 01:30:03,131
[ ZAPPING ]
1520
01:30:07,869 --> 01:30:09,003
[ BURSTING ]
1521
01:30:23,818 --> 01:30:26,587
CLYDE: Now, this is your
last chance, Inspector.
1522
01:30:26,621 --> 01:30:29,957
Now, do you work for us or do
we have to get rid of you?
1523
01:30:29,991 --> 01:30:32,927
I don't want your money.
I have my health,
1524
01:30:32,960 --> 01:30:35,863
I have my hair, I have an
apartment with an icebox.
1525
01:30:35,897 --> 01:30:37,165
And the love of a good woman.
1526
01:30:37,198 --> 01:30:38,466
Terribly moving.
1527
01:30:38,499 --> 01:30:41,269
I wonder whether
we can help them out somehow.
1528
01:30:41,302 --> 01:30:42,970
Lash them to the tarpaulin.
1529
01:30:43,004 --> 01:30:45,773
I'll leave you with this...
Ow! Oh, the deck...
1530
01:30:45,807 --> 01:30:47,308
I leave you with these words...
1531
01:30:47,341 --> 01:30:50,244
Oh, wait, I'm...
I'm going to leave...
1532
01:30:54,482 --> 01:30:56,818
Frey, what time do we rendezvous
with the Star of Tangiers?
1533
01:30:56,851 --> 01:30:58,629
Oh, well, owing to this
fog, my calculations...
1534
01:30:58,653 --> 01:31:00,297
I don't care about
your calculations, Frey,
1535
01:31:00,321 --> 01:31:02,623
ask the gentleman up there
how we're doing.
1536
01:31:02,657 --> 01:31:04,134
What are we going to do
with these two idiots?
1537
01:31:04,158 --> 01:31:05,393
Oh, do stop worrying, Steele.
1538
01:31:05,426 --> 01:31:08,796
By the time they find them,
we'll be miles away, I hope.
1539
01:31:08,830 --> 01:31:11,833
Hey, Fred, what time are we
going to make the rendezvous?
1540
01:31:11,866 --> 01:31:14,068
I don't know. We're having trouble.
We're losing way.
1541
01:31:14,101 --> 01:31:16,580
CLYDE: What did he say? There's
something wrong. We're losing way.
1542
01:31:16,604 --> 01:31:18,148
Losing way? How can...
Look, we're sinking!
1543
01:31:18,172 --> 01:31:21,509
We're sinking! For heaven's
sake, abandon ship everybody.
1544
01:31:21,542 --> 01:31:22,677
We're sinking!
1545
01:31:23,945 --> 01:31:26,848
Don't just stand there.
Keep those crates moving, men!
1546
01:31:30,518 --> 01:31:32,119
[ ALL CLAMORING ]
1547
01:31:36,357 --> 01:31:37,625
Out of my way.
1548
01:32:04,318 --> 01:32:05,519
They've gone!
1549
01:32:05,553 --> 01:32:09,223
Typical,
rats leaving a sinking ship.
1550
01:32:09,257 --> 01:32:12,260
I suggest we... we swim to shore.
1551
01:32:12,293 --> 01:32:13,861
In which direction?
1552
01:32:13,895 --> 01:32:15,830
Well, it's a river.
In any direction.
1553
01:32:17,164 --> 01:32:18,866
Well, maybe
I ought to scream for help.
1554
01:32:18,900 --> 01:32:20,968
Yes, that's a good idea.
1555
01:32:21,002 --> 01:32:22,637
[ SHIP HORN BLOWING ] Help!
1556
01:32:22,670 --> 01:32:26,040
I don't...
I don't think they heard you.
1557
01:32:26,073 --> 01:32:30,411
To track them this far and then to
lose them. It really is too much.
1558
01:32:30,444 --> 01:32:31,779
Would you like a cigarette?
1559
01:32:31,812 --> 01:32:33,548
Yes.
1560
01:32:33,581 --> 01:32:36,484
I'll get one. It's... It's
a menthol cigarette.
1561
01:32:36,517 --> 01:32:37,752
I... I hope you don't mind.
1562
01:32:37,785 --> 01:32:39,754
Menthol? Oh, no!
1563
01:32:39,787 --> 01:32:41,455
You don't like menthol? No.
1564
01:32:41,489 --> 01:32:44,959
I find it has
a much cooler smoke.
1565
01:32:44,992 --> 01:32:46,160
Oh, okay.
1566
01:32:47,995 --> 01:32:49,306
[ AMBULANCE SIREN WAILING
ON TAPE RECORDER ]
1567
01:32:49,330 --> 01:32:50,364
What's that?
1568
01:32:52,533 --> 01:32:54,669
There's an ambulance
drawing alongside.
1569
01:32:56,470 --> 01:32:58,272
[ TAPE RECORDER REWINDING ]
1570
01:33:02,777 --> 01:33:04,679
♪ [ MARCHING BAND PLAYING ] ♪
1571
01:33:09,517 --> 01:33:11,285
[ AIRPLANE WHIRRING ]
1572
01:33:17,658 --> 01:33:18,793
Goodbye, my darling.
1573
01:33:18,826 --> 01:33:20,027
Goodbye. See you next week.
1574
01:33:20,061 --> 01:33:22,029
Yes, a week of loneliness,
my dear,
1575
01:33:22,063 --> 01:33:25,166
but I will have everything
ready for you when you come.
1576
01:33:25,199 --> 01:33:26,634
And you will call me tonight?
1577
01:33:26,667 --> 01:33:29,003
Yes, as soon as I get
off the plane, my dear.
1578
01:33:30,805 --> 01:33:33,341
I don't want to rush you,
but I think perhaps you...
1579
01:33:33,374 --> 01:33:35,610
Well, Braithwaite,
you old son of a gun!
1580
01:33:35,643 --> 01:33:37,988
The time has come for us to say
goodbye, eh? Yes, indeed, it has.
1581
01:33:38,012 --> 01:33:40,381
And I want to say that it's
been a wonderful, wonderful...
1582
01:33:40,414 --> 01:33:41,615
Right, exactly.
1583
01:33:41,649 --> 01:33:42,850
In every regard.
1584
01:33:42,883 --> 01:33:44,986
Naturally and so shall I.
1585
01:33:45,019 --> 01:33:47,621
And if ever again
you should happen to be...
1586
01:33:47,655 --> 01:33:51,392
And I certainly will. And please don't
hesitate to make use of my name
1587
01:33:51,425 --> 01:33:53,661
and, uh, please call me
if ever you need me.
1588
01:33:53,694 --> 01:33:54,838
Oh, no, no, no...
No, no, no, no.
1589
01:33:54,862 --> 01:33:56,373
Please, I insist.
No, really, I wouldn't...
1590
01:33:56,397 --> 01:33:57,741
I wouldn't... I'll be
more than happy to come
1591
01:33:57,765 --> 01:33:59,142
I wouldn't do it.
At my own expense.
1592
01:33:59,166 --> 01:34:00,201
Indeed. Yes.
1593
01:34:00,234 --> 01:34:02,336
Well, cheerio then. Yeah.
1594
01:34:02,370 --> 01:34:03,370
[ GROANS ]
1595
01:34:05,172 --> 01:34:06,474
Goodbye, Jacques.
1596
01:34:06,507 --> 01:34:08,676
Well, goodbye.
1597
01:34:08,709 --> 01:34:11,479
Goodbye. You can expect
to hear from me shortly.
1598
01:34:11,512 --> 01:34:13,547
Yes.
1599
01:34:13,581 --> 01:34:18,185
Well, don't, uh, don't take
any wooden francs, yes.
1600
01:34:29,797 --> 01:34:30,965
Inspector? Yes?
1601
01:34:33,367 --> 01:34:34,568
Mrs. Weaver!
1602
01:34:34,602 --> 01:34:37,738
The Widow Weaver
thanks to you, Inspector.
1603
01:34:38,906 --> 01:34:41,175
No, no, Miss. Listen,
don't do anything
1604
01:34:41,208 --> 01:34:43,444
that you'll be sorry for...
1605
01:34:43,477 --> 01:34:47,148
For our first night alone together
in that naughty Paris of yours.
1606
01:34:49,083 --> 01:34:51,085
[ CLOUSEAU SHOUTING ]